Girlfriend still has feelings for year old ex, help please?

Iv been dating my girlfriend for over a month now we text allot seen each other twice, she has been acting weird for about 5 days and last night I finally got told why, so a week ago wen we saw each other I said something along the lines of loving her ..She never clicked until a few days after and I properly said I loved her and she said it back and how we feel witch was awesome for a few days, but basically me saying that has brought some feelings back for her ex witch she hasn't seen in a year, she said she doesn't know if she loves me any more but she isn't breaking up with me and she does genuinely really like me,I'm really f***ed up about this, this is my first relationship witch she knows but I really need some help please? Anymore info needed ask please ?

Updates:
should say that she is 18 I'm 19

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Maybe she felt it was a bit too soon to say the L word and she said it back because she didn't wanna be rude? I'm not saying it's like that but it's a possiblity.

    What I would do is give him an ultimatum: let me know if we have a future or if you're willing to work on it (but what's there to work on when the feelings aren't there?). Liking someone isn't enough for a good solid relationship between lovers.

    I'd say: give her an ultimatum to let you know how she feels and what she wants, because you can't stay in this insecurity for a long time, this is horrible and you won't get it out of your mind until you know the deal.

    It's like she's holding you with her just in case if she starts to feel something anytime soon. That's not a reason to stay together.

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What Girls Said 4

  • In truth, your girl will always have SOME feeling for her ex, if he hadn't been important to her, he would never have made it to Boyfriend status in the first place. If NO BIG DEAL, so don't fret over it too much, and don't make it out to be something it's not. Just work with what you've got. Ask her what she liked about him, don't fear the opposition, embrace it, and she'll appreciate you more for it.

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    • so do I keep texting her now and then, do I tell her I love her? we are meeting up next time she is of work but I don't think my heart can take another week of this pain and emotion, would it be a bad idea to say to her either me or him?...

    • You need to ask her about him. See what is going on there for her. Once you know for sure, THEN you can say "it's me or him" but for now you're sort of in the dark about what is making her think about him and her past. There might be something for you to know. It's not something you should really be hurting over, though it's perfectly normal to be curious about it...

  • You have to give her time don't rush her some times we get scared and don't be to clingy that will run her off, tell her you will give her time to figure it out a past relationship even after a year can mess with you, my boyfriend has 2 kids with his ex and 5 years after they divorced he still has feelings for her and it was hard to love anyone he does not want her but he loved her really hard and had his heart broken. So I was careful and I waited its amazing now, so give her time

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  • You can't change her she's can only do that

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  • She's young its her 1st real long term

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    • lol thanks but yeah she ended it ...her lose, well mine aswell but yeah

    • ya best answer?

What Guys Said 1

  • Easy answer...Make her your Ex. She's obviously dating you so she can feel better about herself...and a bunch of other selfish reasons. I think she's just going through the motions with you. Nothing you did brought back feelings of her Ex. She's still has feelings for ex and not for you. You're being used..its clear because she is speaking Womanese to you man.

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    • i so hope your wrong ...but I see were your coming from ...my heart is already broke due to things iv told her and now she goes and does this to me ...so I'm going to see it through till we meet and see what she has to say...i don't think I'm being used tbh but hey thanks man

    • I hope I'm wrong man. Pay attention to her actions...not her words. Good luck.

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