Why won't he make more of an effort to contact me?

So I've been seeing this guy for a little over a month now. We don't live in the same city-- we're about an hour apart. When we first started seeing each other we'd text all the time, all day. We've hung out a couple times and enjoyed each others' company (or at least I thought it was that way) and we've said we should do it again. He's the busiest person I know though-- he has three jobs! and it's hard to find time to hang out with him. I tried once last week and he bailed on me at the last minute. Anyway texting is getting old, fast. Recently we've been texting less and less. The last time I talked to him I asked him if we were ever going to hang out and where we stood and he gave me a vague answer like: someday we will I just don't know when. Lately I've noticed I've been initiating our texting conversations but even so he texts me back all the time, we have a good conversations and he seems genuinely interested in what I have to say. However I decided to put him to a test and I haven't texted him in four days. He hasn't texted me either. I want to ask him what's up, like if I should give up and move on or if we're actually gonna have something? I haven't fallen for him yet, but he seems like a nice guy. I know he's not playing me. Should I just straight up ask him, should I keep initiating conversation and trying to set up dates, or should I just stop contacting him and see if he makes an effort?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • u can ask him what's up, but after a while it just kinda feels pointless to text your girl after a while because you got nothing to talk about. I find it kinda annoying when a gir texts me but has nothing to really say. I don't wanna say yall are falling out but you never know, sorry this wasn't more helpful, hope it works out, good luck

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What Guys Said 2

  • i think he first was intrested in you but now he is not . He might have fallen for some other girl...he can't say directly to you that he doesn't want to talk to you as you both had a good time once so he is indirectly saying you. "sorry! you please move on "

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  • if he's not contacting you he's not that interested

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What Girls Said 1

  • stop it. stop it right now. don't ask him where you guys stand. asking him if you're ever going to hang out and where you guys stand sounds needy and like your life revolves around him. give him time to miss you and wonder about you. in the meantime (while you STOP initiating texts), you need to read these 2 books: why men love b*tches and why men marry b*tches. I used to be just like you, but reading these books was life changing for me. I know they sound ridiculous, but trust me, try them out. theyre not actually about being a b*tch, but about maintaining self-respect.

    by the way, just because he's busy and has 3 jobs does not make him more important than you nor his time more valuable than yours.

    get yourself busy with things that give you meaning and fulfillment - gym classes, volunteer work, hobbies, whatever. if he wants you he'll come around. guys don't need as much contact as girls. <3

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