Is it wrong to be with someone because they give you stuff?

I kinda know this guy, he's quite a bit older than I am, I'm 17 and he's 32. We meet in a club a few months ago and since then he's been contacting me a lot and he wants to give me stuff and wants to date me.

He's very well off has a really good job and earns quite a lot of money, in my case my family really doesn't have a lot and I can't really get the things I want.

I admit that I do find him attractive and the way he treats me and the way he talks to me, I love it as well.

Is it wrong for me to date him? He knows that I don't really love him, I've told him that before but he said he doesn't mind that.

He's single so there is nothing there to worry about.

I must admit I'm really attracted to the idea of being able to get all the things I want to get...I just can't decide whether this is wrong or not.

If he wants to buy me stuff, is it really wrong for me to date him so that he does that?

I'm stuck with this really.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Of course this is wrong. Seriously, do people not have morals these days anymore? Cut it off with the guy, before it goes any further. Sure, you’ve told him you aren’t interested – at least for the moment – as you’ve stated that it will “probably” never change in your response to another members answer. Yet, that “probably” gives the guy hope. Your acceptance of his gifts and the continued communication is doing little other than keeping him interested, in the hope that he can perhaps change your mind.

    I hate it when people who’ve got too much try to work their way into the life of someone less fortunate… It’s pathetic. If there’s a connection, it’s there. If there isn’t? Just cut it. That’s not even to mention your age, seriously you’re not even 18 yet? Just because 16 is the legal age in your country – I’m assuming the United Kingdom – it doesn’t mean you’re an adult. You’re still under age for many things – again, assuming you are in the UK – you can’t even smoke or drink legally, let alone do half-a-dozen other things.

    You don’t have the right to play with someone’s mind. His time could be better spent focusing on a relationship that could actually end up somewhere – not just in the gutter.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Well it's pretty obvious to most people what he wants.

    The most important question is what kinda of trouble are you going to get into? When he gives you gifts or money he is going to want sex in return...eventually. Then comes pregnancy or an STD. It's not worth your ruined life.

    To tell you from a guy's point of view...it is wrong to lead someone one. How would you like it if you were lead on and dumped and you found out all your clothes and money and jewelery were missing.

    Also, he may actually at sometime fall in love with you enough to ask you to marry him.

    I have seen similar situations turn into tragedy. One or both end up dead in a murder suicide. If I can't have her nobody can.

    It can also lead to stalking and you can't get rid of him. You can never have a boyfriend as long as he is around.

    When dealing with human emotions it is dangerous. If your relationship is one sided and you are out for all the money and goods than any court in the USA would consider your act a perpetrated FRAUD.

    Just because this guy thinks with what hangs between his legs doesn't mean you can take advantage of him. Just ask him up front to empty his pockets into your purse. You are a sick weasel with no morals or backbone.

    Just to ask that question you have to have something wrong with you emotional intelligence.

    Totally...Totally Wrong

    Good luck...myfunguyJ

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    • And how exactly am I leading him on when I've already been up front with him that I do not love him and that will probably never change...

      I've not asked anything from him, he's been asking me for weeks now and I've not said yes at all...

      I don't see how I have "no morals or backbone" at all and frankly I don't see what right you have to judge me this way when you do not know me at all.

  • Yes it's wrong until you turn 18. Then if he wants to buy his way to your heart then it's his salary!

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    • Why 18? If you're talking about "legal" age, it's 16 where I live.

    • That's what I was getting at. Under 18 just seems wrong.

  • If he likes dating children and you're a sucker for cash I think everybody wins in this case.

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    • I'm not a child.

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    • Well he isn't really pressuring me into anything, it's my choice so I don't really think he is a creep.

    • Well, of course you don't. Just saying me and any other guy of half decent moral standards would think of him a creep...trust me. He needs a beating and/or a some time in prison.

  • Well hey if he wants to be used like a doormat then that's really his choice. Just expect him to probably ask for favors in return.

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    • But I'm not really going to treat him that way, but...I probably wouldn't date him if he wasn't buying me stuff and he probably knows that.

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    • Seems like you've already convinced yourself into it.

    • Not completely no, but mostly.

What Girls Said 2

  • Is it wrong to be with someone because they give you stuff?

    Not in my opinion as plenty of people are in relationships with others because they give them stuff be it sex, emotional validation, or intimacy.

    Is it wrong for me to date him?

    Not in my opinion as you've been upfront with him.

    If he wants to buy me stuff, is it really wrong for me to date him so that he does that?

    Not in my opinion as most likely the guy is dating you because of your youth and hopes of sex.

    "I'm stuck with this really."

    Probably best suited to think there's nothing wrong with being with a guy for gifts or money as many guys will likely be with you solely or mainly because of looks, youth, and sex.

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    • I know that he finds me hot, he's always complimenting me and I'm not naive, I know he's interested in me for those reasons.

      I'm not too sure if I want to sleep with him though even though I do find him attractive...

      Would it be right to have sex for stuff? Because that's sort of what this would be, I'd be dating him which would probably lead to sex, but I'd only really be dating him for the stuff he buys me...

      That's why I'm kinda not sure if this is right, I'm not a whore or anything.

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    • Yes I know, I don't really entirely want to do that but I think he'd probably just get bored of me eventually if I didn't?

    • In my opinion him getting bored of you is irrelevant as you're young so there's likely plenty more older guys willing to give you stuff in exchange for hoping to have sex with you.

      Loads of gals I know are even able to get stuff from guys their age on that hope without ever having sex or doing anything sexual.

  • He's 32 trying to date a 17 year old.I wouldn't be concerned with his feelings.he deserves to get used for his money.he knows your age and he knows he's trying to entice you with money. He is a creep who I have no amount of sympathy for.take as much as you can get but do not sleep with him.play the good girl virgin card but cut him off when you can tell he's really expecting sex to go down.that will serve him right and you can get free stuff out of the deal

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