Has anyone used the excuse of "not ready for a relationship" and meant it?

I split up with a girl I had been meeting for a couple of months about a month ago. She used the line that “she was not ready for a relationship”.

Thing is she did tell me this when we first met and said how she wished she had met me towards the end of the year or even next. The first month we spent together was really intense, we spent lots of time together and she text me and rang me all the time. The last few weeks however were really hard as she began to push me away. She had been hurt in a few other long term relationships and said that she needed to find herself again.

When we were ending things she had said how she felt more for me than she did at that point for the others that she had been in a relationship with but was not ready. She then said though that the spark had gone and it was a companionship thing. But then that it was not me it was just that she needed to be single for awhile. She had even told me the week before we ended things that she loved me.

Its been really confusing here as to what to believe. She told me that she had fort her feeling for me from the beginning and I am sure this is true because I could see it. At the time I believed what she said because I could see her struggling when things started to get to the point of a relationship. Not seeing this anymore has made me question though whether its true or not, and whether she just did not like me. The “spark” was there at first which is why we got so close but I just don’t know whether her struggles have made her bury this simply because its easier.

Ive used the line “I'm not ready for a relationship” many times, were I just don’t like them and want to put them down gently.

Im sure we all do this, but has anyone ever said this and meant it?

And what do people think of my situation...did she mean it?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • When many women say this it just means that they don't want a relationship with YOU. Many think that saying crap like this will save the other persons feelings but that's wrong. Think about this. Someone says that line to you, then you see that person with someone else days/weeks or even HOURS later.

    I have never done this crap because it truly serves no purpose other than to make excuses when you should be telling the truth about why you don't want to be with that person. The truth may hurt a bit, but it needs to be heard so that person at least KNOWS and they can improve.

    Here's another thing. If a girl says that excuse to you and you are such a good guy/nice catch, then why doesn't she introduce you to other girls that would be interested? It's because she doesn't think you are good enough. Since you have used excuses yourself, then you should understand that the guidelines are the same. Either she isn't over her ex (red flag) or she has her sights set on someone else or you are "missing" something. Just be clear and get in your head that she doesn't want to be with YOU. Move on.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I am actually not into dating anyone right now because it has been only a few months since I broke up with my boyfriend and I think I still miss him. :/ so yes I have rejected a guy because I wasn't ready for another one. But there are girls who make an excuse...because they want to be polite and not hurt anyone's feelings.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Karma :-)

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