i generally, offer to the pay for the first date, because it is a cultural norm that the person who invites out a woman makes it his treat to her. however, if we are on several dates, and she doesn't even offer to pay once, then I (and probably most other guys in that situation) would conclude that she's self-entitled.
women, do you think the cultural norm of guys paying on the first date is to rightfully be expected as it is a sign of chivalry and generosity. or do you think it is a double standard that demeans women.
please, only women answer the poll.
- We should both split all the bills 50/5018% (3)38% (3)24% (6)Vote
- He should pay for the first date, then 50/50 for the rest29% (5)25% (2)28% (7)Vote
- He should pay for the 1st and 2nd date, then 50/50 for the rest29% (5)12% (1)24% (6)Vote
- He should pay for the first three dates18% (3)0% (0)12% (3)Vote
- He should pay for all dates, up until the relationship6% (1)25% (2)12% (3)Vote
Most Helpful Girl
Whoever asks should pay, at least the first few dates.
Most women will go out with guys she isn't that enthusiastic about at first -- not to get free stuff, but to give the guy a chance. I think, if there is anything girls hear over and over about dating it's "give him a chance." Most guys consider asking a girl out several times before she gives in to be a fairly standard dating strategy.
Having to pay to spend time with someone that you're not really that excited about can be a drag. Especially as guys only ask out girls they are pretty attracted to and interested, so they generally have a higher interest level. That's why starting out with cheap or even free dates with lots of talking are a better bet than trying to impress the girl right away. It's low key, she won't feel like you're putting a lot of pressure on her to keep seeing you, and she's more likely to split, because you didn't coerce her to do something expensive and then want her to pay for it, too. Don't get discouraged by this -- we DO date plenty of guys we're excited about and there is no reason to think that a girl isn't excited about you... I'm just trying to give you perspective about the paying. You wouldn't want to pay to take out a girl that you're not that attracted to, but you also wouldn't want a woman you really desire to say no to you right off the bat. It puts us in a tricky situation.
After dating a while, part of it comes down to finances and what a person likes to do. I think the woman should pay half the time for run-of-the mill stuff, though the person who really wants to do something in particular (see a band, go to a certain movie, go to an art show, etc) should pay both fees if they are making their boyfriend/girlfriend do something that isn't really their thing.2