Are my old fashioned dating philosophies holding me back?

I've always considered myself to be old fashioned when it comes to dating. I don't mean that in a religious sense, like I'm a wait until marriage type guy or something.

What I mean is, I'm the type of guy who asks a girl to dinner when I like her. I'm the guy who believes in labels like boyfriend/girlfriend. I'm the guy that isn't going to go much further than hand holding and a little kiss if we aren't BF/GF. I'm the guy that believes in waiting a little while to have sex and not on the first date. I'm the guy who can enjoy a simple night of wine and a movie. I'm the guy who refuses to text and rather just talk with you in person. I'm the guy who actually wants to get married. I'm the guy who's idea of fun isn't getting sh*t faced 7 nights a week. I think you get the picture.

Basically I'm an old fashioned hopeless romantic that believes in doing things the way my parents did it, as opposed to all this stupid bullsh*t where we text each other, hook up a few times, maybe go to a couple parties, text some more, then tell people we're "just hooking up".

I get the vibe that this is holding me back. I've even had one girl tell me that I was crazy because I believed that a couple should actually sit down and discuss the fact that they are boyfriend/girlfriend and exclusive to each other, as opposed to just assuming it because the two of you are hooking up. I don't subscribe to this culture of "hooking up" with people. For me, its all or nothing. We're either dating or we aren't. Don't get me wrong, I know how to flirt and be sexual, but I draw a fine line in the sand in terms of what I consider appropriate with a girl who I'm not in an official relationship with.

The problem is, I feel like my old fashioned nature is keeping me from connecting with women and allowing them to become attracted to me. A girl will dismiss me if I'm not willing to hookup with her, and if I simply asked a girl to dinner, she'll look at me like I'm speaking a foreign language. Do you guys think this is truly holding me back by alienating me from my peers, or am I just meeting the wrong women?


Most Helpful Girl

  • If I could find a guy like you I would be over the moon. The only guys that I seem to attract are either old guys and exactly 2 guys who would like to take me to their house "for drinks" after the first date. I would like a guy who looks me for me not my body. Who tells me I am pretty while looking me in the eyes not at my chest. I am against what marriage poses for a women (bound into slavery, bought, made into a breeder and nanny, etc.) But possibly for the right guy, if he was like you kind and he really was my best friend and understood my feelings about marriage I would totally feel like marrying him. I know that some women do prefer a bad boy someone who will treat them badly, the vast majority of women prefer a man who treast them kindly. They like a man who will show them that chilvalry is still alive, treat them with respect and an equal, who will love them not for their looks but for who they are. The way a woman looks can change, but her personality remains. I have heard many women whose husbands leave them after an accident or cancer or other disease, I hope that when you find your soul mate you will treat her like you say for the rest of your lives. Hope this Helps! =D


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What Girls Said 4

  • I would kill to have a guy like you, it seems like you actually have a brain and morals, but about the whole texting thing yeah I like talking face to face but I love texting to, the right girl WILL want someone like you. Any girl that just wants to "hook up" doesn't want a relationship and isn't serious about settling down, sheesh where have you been all my life? lol

    • Show All
    • Probably doesn't help I live near a major metropolitan area (chicago). Living in a big city that is also towards the north in my opinion means that most people have more progressive and liberal views on life. Everyone is a cosmopolitan.

    • lol I live basically right beside DC I know the feeling

  • I think you're just meeting the wrong woman. There are plenty of women who hold these same values as you.

  • i think you are a great guy and if that is how girls are reacting it is really sad and pathetic what a bunch of hoes in all honesty, shows how bankrupt our generation is and it makes me sad, I am not like that and neither are my friends, don't know what type of low class chicks you are meeting.

    • What's sad is, is I've come to realize that some of the girls I've known for some time have morphed into these low class chicks. Now I find myself disassociating myself with them because even though I'm no saint, I just rather not be around those don't share my values.

  • Marry me.


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