What is more frustrating, unrequited love, or knowing the person likes you but not being able to date?

For me, unrequited love is painful, but I'll get over it pretty quickly, but when it's obvious someone likes you but there's something getting in the way of you dating, it's more frustrating, and a lot harder to get over. Without any realease of the bottled up feelings, it takes a lot longer for the embers to die out. If they like you they'll probably be jealous, maybe become angry or resentful, and give off "attracted" body language, so you just know. But if the feelings are unrequited, they probably won't be adding fuel to the fire. What are your thoughts?

Updates:
Oh yeah, another bullet. sexual tension is often a shared discomfort. But with unrequited feelings, the tension normally isn't there much. So unrequited love might be painful but it's a lot easier getting over it

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I disagree. Unrequited love is a lot more painful than knowing the person likes you but is not able to date you.

    Loving someone and that someone not returning the love is severely cruel. It's like walking around with a black cloud, following you everywhere and anywhere you go. Getting over your unrequited love is even worse than knowing that person's love is not reciprocated. You have pain to deal with, time getting over it, and you must go through a lot of mixed emotions. You're basically living with a sorrow heart.

    When you love someone, that feeling is buried deep down. It's a scar you carry in your heart. Feelings are powerful yet strange emotion. They can play tricks and destroy you, or sustain you. Either way, feelings are influential and dominant emotion. It takes days, weeks, months, or years to recover and encounter this emotional love pain. The scar will eventually heal once you find someone of same or better quality than the person that rooted your scar.

    Now, I understand why obviously knowing someone likes you, but there's something getting in the way of dating can be frustrating and hard to get over. You like them, and they like you. Works out perfectly. But, there's that one tiny obstacle getting in your path. You can definitely surpass this tiny obstacle. Since both parties like each other, and are aware of their actions and attracted body language, they can certainly engage with each others' company, fall for each other, share laughter, etc. Without dating. Once that tiny obstacle diminishes, they can date. The best part in this situation is knowing the other party reciprocates mutual feelings.

    That's the difference. It's tough getting over the fact that someone not requiting mutual feelings versus someone requiting mutual feelings. It's happy versus sad emotion.

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What Girls Said 8

  • if you really can't find a way to be together then one or both are neither in love, nor requited.

    what reason can you think of where you absolutely could NEVER be together.. it would boil down to one of you or both of you, not wanting to make the effort.

    So, imo, hey are both the same. not able and unrequited. same.

    i think the version of unrequited where someone was unwilling to make an effort, could be easier to get ver, if they don't care, they don't care.yet they say they do . that's bullsh*t--f*** them.

    if its so called, unrequited it'd be harder to tell.. because people ie all the time. if its a matter of them saying they don't love me but I feel they do-othrwise I wouldn't love them.. then I may still hold hope, deep down. I believe I would not be in love with someone who is not in love with me.. so in spite of myself.. I 'might' think they are lying for some reason or other.. or don't realize it yet themselves..,.I wouldn't act on it. id keep it buried deep.. maybe change the shape of my organs, give me high blood pressure, cause cancer or w/e.

    so while they are both essentially the same to me unrequited would be more dfficult. if I'm actually in love--which would like never happen.. if they really did not love me.

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  • You totally answered your own question, and you did it very eloquently. I definitely think that knowing the person likes you but not being able to date is far far worse. I went through something like this this year, and I feel like I'll never really forget about him. It's painful and extremely frustrating, especially as there's no chance of anything actually happening now as he's moved back to the UK- he was an international student studying at my college for the year. There was such obvious chemistry there, and really intense sexual tension- so impossibly difficult to describe. I had to avoid him because I didn't believe that we could make a long distance relationship work. I started trying to make it less obvious that I was attracted to him, and even avoid him, but this in turn made him even more frustrated that the sexual tension built up even more because I think he could see straight through me. I do regret it

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  • not being able to date. I can get over unrequited love pretty fast too. but when I know for a fact that the other person likes me it sucks. I can do some pretty crazy stuff to release the built up anger and tension. I'm not homicidal or suicidal. I just make stupid reckless decisions.

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  • The former, because it makes one feel rejected and insignificant. As for the latter, what could possibly be keeping the two of you apart?

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  • For me, the latter is the hardest. I can't give up on something I think I can get. Love is always worth fighting for.

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  • I agree with you, it sucks when 2 people seem perfect for each other but you can't be together or if they act as though they like you but then ignore you the next minute so you're confused as what to do incase there is a chance they do like you back.

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  • I agree with you , You couldn't have stated that any better . It's really painful especially if you really care for the person , For whatever circumstances that is keeping both parties from being together or even acknowledging it . I would feel that it's a little like torture , Knowing what your feeling in your heart . But you just cannot let it be known is simply horrible. The signs that you presented is really all on point , And your right sometimes you can see it . Even if the other person is trying to hide it , To me I will think it would be hard knowing that person cares for me and that can't tell me . I wouldn't even want them to feel bad , So you feel sad because they feel sad . It's a really bad situation , But my thing is this . If the person is not married or under age , I think both parties should let it be known . Even if one doesn't feel the same , It would stop a lot of pain so healing can begin . I am wondering are you going through this

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  • the latter is more frustrating, knowing he likes me but won't date me? I kinda went through that in college, I loved this guy we were not together officially but there was this spark between us, he knew I was weak for him but he never gave me the time of day, I tried to talk to him, get to know him more, be part of his world, even if he just wanted to be friends id accept that, I even asked him out, but he kept shutting me down each time and he would disappear for 6 months and come back again and try to talk and be flirty. I never understood how he really felt about me, in my heart I feel like he did like me, he just didn't want to commit and would be a coward. I still think of him everyday, I do love him, I wish he knew that. I agree that anger, being resentful and jealousy is a sign they like u, because I saw all those in his behavior.

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What Guys Said 2

  • i'm going through unrequited love now and your right it hurts like hell

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  • God. The second one :( I'm in that exact situation right now. I like her, she likes me...but she isn't ready for dating anybody after getting out of a relationship :/

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