Am I helping or hurting by not texting her?

The girl I like has been really busy lately. We hung out a couple times a few weeks ago. She ended up staying over one night and we hooked up. It's pretty official that we both like each other, just when it comes to hanging out she's really flaky. I told her how much I'd like to see her on a regular basis and she said she wanted to spend time with me too but it was really hard right now because she was so busy with stuff in her life. I told her I get it and if we could find just little times to see each other that'd be great and she said that'd be nice and smiled at me.

I realize she's under a lot of stress, but I haven't heard from her for going on two days. She always used to text me or call me to say hi or just have a random conversation but lately all it's been is me texting her to see if she can hang out at some point and her either not responding for hours or until the next day or her saying she is busy today and can't.

So I haven't texted her in a couple days and I keep hoping that I'll hear from her eventually. I mean, even if she is really busy, can she really not find ten seconds in the day to send me a text to at least show me she is TRYING to put in some effort? So am I helping or hurting our situation by keeping silent and waiting for her to step up?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I've done this before. When I sleep with a guy and I don't really know how to act about it later I usually avoid him. Maybe she is just really busy but I know when I did it it was because I needed space to think about it and decide what really happened. Just give her some room and wait a few days. Then hit her up and be like "Hey just wanted to say have a good day." or something sweet like that. It'll put a smile on her face but you won't seem like your being pushy to hang out or whatever.

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    • It happened almost a month ago and for a couple weeks after we were fine and would text all the time. She even called me babe and hun and stuff. Now she just stopped texting as much and whenever I ask to hang out she always says she wants to and will let me know if she can then always apologizes for not getting back to me. I know she is really busy, she just doesn't seem to be putting in any effort, like sending a quick text just to say hi or something.

    • Put as much effort into it as her and if she wants you as a friend or more she will have to play a part in this. Yeah it has the chance of her not talking to you but you've tried. Right now, it just look slike she's the girl and your the pup trying to bark up her tree. Don't be the pup. Be the dude that's like alright either your going to put in effort or this isn't going to happen or else she will do this to you forever.

What Girls Said 1

  • don't text her anymore, if she wants to talk to you she will make an effort trust me..

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What Guys Said 1

  • I know that feel bro. That's exactly what happened with me 2 weeks ago. Ultimately it doesn't matter whether you stop texting or not. It's really up to her. The moment summer ended and my ex went back to school she hardly texted at all. She never had the time to meet up and I was annoyed that she couldn't even take the time to call or text. After waiting for hours for her to text back I decided to stop for a while because it was really hurting me. A few days later she uses it as an excuse saying something was up with our relationship and ended it. I felt so stupid for putting up with her flaking and waiting for her just to have it end so quickly.

    My advice is be honest with her. Don't waste any effort on a girl who isn't willing to put any effort on you.

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