Friend setting me up on a blind date and I'm excited, I guess. But the only problem is that he is black..

Ok so basically my friend is white and she just started talking to this guy and he is super cute he's white and he is a football player at our college (I'm sooooooooo jealous) well he has a friend and he asked if she could hook his friend up and maybe go on a double date. She just asked me if I would.. but she told me he is black. I am not racist, actually I am black too BUT I'm pretty light skinned and always get mistaken for being mixed. I have always only dated white guys and I like it like that, I want mixed children one day because they are beautiful (all races of children are beautiful but biracial ones are SUPER cute). I am afraid to go out with a black guy, what if he is ghetto? I just have no attraction to black men, I could never see myself dating one and it makes me want to cry that I have to be set up with one.. I want to date white men, why can't I find a white guy as easily?! I am afraid if I start dating black men that what if I like one and then it leads to more and I end up married to a black guy and I have fully black children?! I feel like of course my kids would be cute but what if they are like super dark? or have super unmanageable hair? I am literally about to cry right now because I don't know what to do.. I mean I will go on the date because it would be fun to just go out with a guy that I didn't meet on POF (since I deleted it :( ) but I feel like it can't go anywhere because I am not going to be attracted to him.. I don't know what to do?!


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Most Helpful Guy

What Guys Said 10

  • Why are you saying that you're "not going to be attracted to him"...

    ...

    ...when you haven't even met him yet?

    That, my friend, is called being racially prejudice. You have serious self-hate issues.

    Please seek help...once you stop deluding yourself thinking that you are "normal".

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    • You can't help who you're attracted to

    • I would agree with you...but you never met him or seen what he looks like!

      If the guy for your blind date was of another race, you would at least LOOK at him and see if you're attracted to him.

      But with a black guy, you don't give him a chance?

      I'm curious...why are you so "closed off" to black men?

    • Idk why I have just always liked white guys it's all I have dated. I just have had bad experiences with black men

  • Your over thinking the hell out of this you don't like black guys so this one single date isn't gonna turn into anything involving kids so your good I mean maybe he isn't to excited about this date either...just go an look at it as backing up your friend your there to help her when she stumbles or the convo gets boring and once its over you don't have to talk to this guy ever again just imagine your a actress putting on the role of a lifetime showing how you can adapt to any situation

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  • If you find his looks and personality unattractive it won't go anywhere. If he's a nice guy and there's a spark, it will. And if you find him good looking and marry him, maybe your sons will look like him and be good looking too :p

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  • Well, be a real friend and tell your girlfriend you don't want to go out with a black guy.

    OR tell her to hook him up with someone else and let them go out. Then you won't have to worry.

    Try one of these two things.

    THEN find a mirror and take a picture. Make it a Polaroid. Then at the bottom label it: "This is what an Idiot & Asshole I used to be."

    Put it away and take it out after...ten years. Maybe by then you'll have wised up.

    Then again, maybe not. At least you'll have a good frame of reference for what a terrible person looks like.

    - Ciao -

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  • She may assume you prefer black men in general because your black. Nothing wrong with having a preference in men but I hope your joking about worrying if your kids will be full black and what their hair will be like. Good luck to you though.

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    • She knows I like white guys she just didn't know anyone else to ask

    • Go out as friends if you know you don't like him. He would probably just want to fool around with you and if you weren't into it I doubt he would care that much, maybe just hurt his ego a little.

  • This is what's going in spritually, You have to much expectations, Your using your mind to much, life is love and love is life, in life you have to flow like water and you can't be selfish with the gifts and people like decided to give you... stop the expectation and stop the attachments, be love..

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  • well, everyone has their preferences. Just tell her you aren't into black guys. White girls say it all the time and get away with it. There's no reason you should have to be the exception.

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  • i hope you like him and marry him and have dark skinned kids for you can see and look back on how stupid you sound now.

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  • Worried about getting married and you haven't even had that first date yet? There aren't any guaranteed subsequent dates, so no worries.

    Just be sure to get it across to your friend that you date whites only. heh

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  • Some of us trail blaze (I have a biracial teenage son) some don't. You have ho obligation to do so. If you don't want to do this, claim something came up and back out.

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What Girls Said 11

  • You're taking this wayyyy too seriously for a casual first date. Just go have fun! He doesn't even have to be your boyfriend, much less your husband. Give the guy a chance. He is a person after all, and doesn't deserve to be treated as second class just because he's black and you have some fear of all-black children.

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    • You mean you don't have to get married after one date? Interesting theory...

    • I concur with this.

      I truly believe that people that purposely omit from dating their own race have psychological problems.

  • Okay any type of guy can be ghetto so I don't understand why you said ''i am afraid to date a black guy what if he is ghetto'' wow like seriously you definitely need to get out more any type of guy can be ghetto anyone can be ghetto for that matter,and all your friend is trying to do is hook you up not asking you to marry or have kids with this guy. I'm sure no one is forcing you do go on a date with him if you don't want to then just be honest and up front to your friend about it. You are rude for saying what if my kids come out super dark or unmanageable hair like what are you trying to say. you should be ashamed of yourself all you could of said was I'm not attracted to him or he is not your preference no need to amply stereotypes.

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  • Your ignorance is kind of funny but really sad. your thought process is part of the problem. I'm light skinned too and people like you who think that light skin is the standard of beauty in our culture are the reason why dark skinned women like my mother feel inferior.

    Id advise you not to go out with him. He deserves to get to know someone who doesn't regard him with such shallow and low esteem. Your entitled to your preferences but it seems more like you harbor some self hatred or distorted views from the media. Why else would you think that being light skinned makes you any better or more desirable than anyone else? I think maybe when you become more educated and mature, and learn to have grace and humility you'll realize that you were just being close minded and prejudice.

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    • Most of the white guys I dated have never dated a black and the ones that have said they only like light skinned ones

    • Is that all you got out of this informative comment QA? Do you not understand the poison you're spreading?

    • And because of a few white guys with distorted views, it effects your ability to think for yourself? You conform to the ideals of the majority because its easy. Your mind is in a box and until you broaden you thought process you will continue to believe in all the preconceived notions about black beauty...

      @sam I think its because she doesn't understand why she thinks this way, its sad but she's kind of a lost cause.

  • My boyfriend is black and guess what? He's not ghetto. He's a great guy with an amazing heart, he's sweet, loving, funny, has a great sense of style, SO attractive, and we have so much in common. Plenty of other black guys are like that too.

    Try not to judge people before you get to know them. You might be surprised.

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  • If you don't want to go on a date with this man , let me go! I like black boys so much!

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  • she's asking you to go on one date, not marry the guy and have his kids.

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  • this "girl" is probably not even black or female. likely some potbellied racist KluKluxKlan member trolling on GAG. This has "troll" written all over it. go try to tear down someone who has actually done some worldwide evil, why dontcha? And leave black men alone. Ick. So tired of seeing people make the minorities in the country the bad guy, when all they've ever done was try to cope and make a descent life for their families. Troll somewhere else.

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    • I'm black and what about the fact the black men between 18-23 have the highest chance of being arrested (they are also the most likely to be victimized) or the fact that they have the highest rate of unwed pregnancies and are the most likely to leave a pregnant girlfriend and unemployment. I worked in the court system and do you know how many black men are in there compared to white

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    • You know what I'm saying is true that's why you're calling me a troll

    • i'm done with the troll. go get your attention somewhere else.

  • I hope one day you discover the love you don't seem to have for yourself atm. It must truly be a cursed fate to have such ill thought on ones self because of something as trival as skin. I understand media is partly to blame, but you can't always blame the world for your problems.

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    • I'm not blaming anyone I just Like white men

    • Thats not the point to look at. The fact YOU DON'T LOVE YOURSELF is the problem.

  • No, the only problem is that you are another color struck black person who hates themself and makes black women look bad. I think that you should do him a favor and cancel the date so that he doesn't waste his time on a waste of female anatomy such as yourself. All the things your ancestors did so you could be free and your stuck up azz wants to sit here and bitch about skin color as if your sh*t don't stink? Newsflash; YOU ARE BLACK; PEOPLE SEE YOU AS BLACK NOT "NEAR MIXED LOOKING".

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    • You just like what you like

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    • That is the most ignorant thing I've ever heard in my life. Ghetto isn't ubiquitous ! It does not classify every black person, stop stereotyping. HOW YOU RAISE, your kid is how they'll turn out. Honestly, you're not even fit to have kids, someone with that mentality will do more harm to a kid, you need to work on yourself. And FYI , I have mixed friends who aren't light, they're just brown

    • QA, you hate yourself. It's disgusting and pathetic.

  • I couldn't finish reading this, I was laughing too much at how ridiculous this whole entire thing is.

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  • I lol'd when you said "I could never see myself dating one and it makes me want to cry that I have to be set up with one"

    Then I realized you were a troll when you started talking about super dark children and unmanageable hair.

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