Guys, why do I always get rejected?

What is a reason you tend to turn down girls for? How can I keep a guys interest? They seem to get bored of me and walk away emotionally..


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Most Helpful Guy

  • When I hear a girl say what you just said, I usually think the problem is that you don't show enough interest in him.

    If I'm seeing a girl, and she seems TOO calm and collected and emotionally placid...i would think that she isn't very interested in me.

    Now you may act that way because you don't want to show TOO much interest and come off desperate, or play "hard to get".

    BUT...being that placid, unexcited, unimpressed, stone-faced person emotionally and physically, will imo repel guys MORE than being too eager.

    No offense...but take a close look at your pictures. Not one is a genuine let-loose smile. If that half-smile is the most emotion you show when a guy is showing interest in you, then no wonder you're having trouble.

    ---------

    Do you have a hard time being open with guys who are interested in you?

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    • Yes, I do and it's crazy how much that answer just described me.:/

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    • Smiling and flirting is key! Practice with guys you are not interested in, it is so much easier in the beginning.

      Check out my blog article here. And please send me a message, we can work on this ;).

      link

      Love,

      Dina

    • to the QA: once you find that guy you'll be easily able to smile because you'll have something to smile about! :)

What Guys Said 23

  • Well for me a girls personality is crucial to keeping my interest and falling in love wih her. For example, the last girl I dated a few months back was absolutely beautiful with a very nice body, but she couldn't have a meaningful, deep conversation if her life depended on it. She had recently given up on a lifelong goal because it was "too hard" and she was also so sucked into the party lifestyle, it was such a turnoff. Lost complete interest in her after a few dates, most guys would think I'm crazy, I'm not most guys though. I'm not saying you have a bad personality, but look to see if there is something you're doing wrong. Are you boring and can't have interesting conversations? Do you have similar interests with these guys? Do you interesting things going on in your life or things you're working towards? Are you showing interest back? These are all questions to think about.

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  • Well, you're gorgeous, so attraction is likely not the problem.

    SOMETHING you're doing early on is f*cking this up.

    -Expressing adverse religious views early on.

    -Being overly atimate about your intentions to remain celibate.

    -Bringing up children.

    -Being a genuinely boring or lacking conversationalist.

    -Saying b!tchy things that make him second guess who you are.

    -Being mean to anyone in his presence.

    -Letting your weird habits become known.

    -Doing something socially inept in public.

    Is there anything that you think might draw them away quickly?

    Or anything on this list?

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    • So sweeeeet<3 And so right, I know I am somehow messing it all up every time.

      I think I am a poor conversationalist, I never know how to respond, what to say, ahhhh I overthink every little thing! It takes a lot for me to be mean so I don't think anyone really sees that side of me ever unless someone says something against my fam or best friends. I don't know that I have any weird habits, but I am pretty socially retarded, haha. Thanks for the help!(:

  • Maybe they are intimidated or ashamed of themselves. You - and the other girl here who answered - are both way, way, way outside the league of 99% of the male population.

    Just consider yourself fortunate you aren't ending up with a genetic inferior lol. Eventually a guy worthy of you will come and want to be with you.

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    • Baha, I love your answer! :D I hope you're right that there will be a guy someday willing to stick around, but I can't help feeling I have some necessary improvements to make before hooking him.

  • You are either:

    1) Boring

    2) Too quiet

    3) Don't reciprocate

    4) You are a bitch

    5) Too shy

    6) Too much of a prude, yes not even a kiss

    7) Too Desperate

    8) Too crazy and obsessed with love and a boyfriend

    9) You are too picky and only date a very exclusive type of men, who very likely don't want a relationship because they can get as many women as they want, so why settle with one?

    10) You either have a very shallow personality and you are not funny or you are not smart enough to make an inteligent and deep conversation.

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    • Haha! I would say yes, yes, sometimes, definitely not, yes, nope, naw, definitely not, maybe so, and haha, I can make conversation I just have to feel comfortable enough to speak freely (takes a little time and I overthink).

      Thank you for your input.(:

    • Best answer!

  • It could be a mix of things. if you gave some examples that would help. Age, maturity and types you may be dating are a factor.

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  • I tend to walk away at not at the first sign of drama issues, but certainly after the 3rd or 4th. If we're going to always be embroiled in some crazy personal situation - whether it's her personal life, work, school, or her reaction to mine, I'd rather not go into it all again.

    I'm older so I've had the extreme situations where someone turned my life upside down by making me rescue her, time after time.

    It really depends on what details you're hearing from guys. Why do they walk away? What do they tell you?

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  • Well... what kind of guys do you date and what kind of girl are you?

    If someone bores me it is never going to work, but boredom is just not being able to relate to the other persons passions. One girl might think I'm really exciting and interesting going on about music, movies, science, politics and religion (my passions) another girl probably thinks I'm totally boring for it (and maybe I find her passions boring also).

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    • I don't think there are any certain kind of guys I date. I guess just the ones who ask..I am often told I am shy and quiet. Some people refer to me as a bit nerdy, as I spend a wholly of my time playing star wars online, reading and listening to music. I am a bit artsy, I like to sing, draw, paint, and work as a photographer. I am always interested in how different people are, each guys simularities and differences interest me no matter what they are.

  • I lose interest if the girl doesn't reciprocate. I'm OK with initiating, but if I'm always doing all the hard work it becomes annoying.

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    • I was definitely putting out a good lvl of effort in each case, but I know I am not as open with my feelings and each guy has had to lead most every conversation until I become comfortable enough to form coherent thoughts and sentences. I just am extremely socially awkward, I never know what to say.. I guess I just feel lame.

    • I knew I nailed it again, become more talkative and you will see better results!

  • Sounds like you aren't showing enough interest in guys and they give up hope. Try being more open with your feelings and make your intentions more obvious.

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    • I do have a problem showing how I feel in the beginning, but this last guy I made a big step for me. I actually came out and told him how I felt; that I wanted to give us a try.. He wasn't interested, but he let me down pretty nicely the whole it's not you, it's me. I just feel like if a guy really is interested in me, he'll ask me like in the past. I don't want to talk a guy who is only slightly interested to be with me..

  • Define "turned down" if you would. I find it hard to believe that men would turn you down on the regular if you are actually approaching them... well unless you frequently go for men that aren't single.

    You seem like a cool chick to me.

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    • Well I mean I don't get immediately shot down because I am not confident to intiate something between a guy, him intiated it assures me that he's interested. I don't want to be someone's pity date. What I mean is guys who do show interest, then date me, then I mess up somehow cause the rush of it all is over for them they either don't want to be in a relationship with me or we are in a relationship and they end it, because they don't like me anymore.

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    • Well about 9, maybe 10. I am a virgin, which makes me invisible to plenty of guys, but the ones who stick around I am honest with. I guess I have just never had a relationship that lasted longer than 2 months. Have never felt super close to the point where I am comfortable enough to progress to that lvl. It's not a I never want to sleep with him, it's a not yet. The only others I can really relate to are sometimes I may not seem super happy. Verbose, don't show emotion well and may seem indiff.

    • You might think I'm a pig for this, but I personally haven't ever dated somebody for that long without having sex with them. It's not that I wouldn't, but it's never been an issue. The longest I can think of would be about 3 weeks...

      It's important that there is more than just sex, of course, but my guess would be that this is the biggest issue.

      Virgins are intimidating as a man. Are you saving yourself for marriage or something, or has it just never happened?

  • At what point do you feel you are being rejected?

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    • Well, when they want to spend time with me, but they don't like me enough to try only being with me..I am not good enough. They like other girls, and I feel boring to them. It's been multiple repeating case with different guys. It's like they start off investing everything, wanting a relationship with me, and then I ruin it somehow..

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    • Then it just becomes... well making out all the time. The relationship progresses physically and not emotionally, then it gets to the place where sex is the next step and I back away cause I don't even really know him. I don't know.. I need social skills

    • You don't know him, does he know you?

      Do you worry about sayig the right thing, instead of being your true self and finding out inches the right guy or you?

      You can never feel loved if you don't feel they know the real you. And that requires not hiding yourself.

  • Are you looking for a committed relationship or sex? Judging by your picture, you shouldn't seem to have a hard time attracting men. If you are looking for a more serious relationship, your description of these encounters makes you sound like you don't have much of a personality. No man will ever want to date a woman who "plays dumb." If you believe that acting like an airhead will attract men, it doesn't. They'll just think you're shallow.

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    • Thank you, for the help and kind words.:) I am interested in a monogamous relationship. I don't feel like I have much personality, but my friends and plenty of guys have told me I do. I don't understand what I am doing to flip these guys from being so interested to completely treating me like crap. The reason I feel I don't have much personality is because I am quite quiet, especially when I am first getting to know someone, until I become comfortable.

  • What type of guys are you dating? Who initiates contact and how does that usually happen? How does communication between you two go for the first week or two? (who calls who, how often, how long do you talk/text, etc.)

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  • I am guessing you date men who are relatively attractive if so, it's called being a douche. You need to find someone who isn't a total boring tool but also isn't a douchebag either.

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    • Well I definitely find them attractive, though some have been deemed unattractive by my friends. Doesn't matter as long as I like them though.

  • Don't take this harshly, but you're probably trying to get with guys that are a bit out of your league.

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    • I don't believe in leagues. :o

  • why don't you flirt a lil...smile more..touch more..seem like a good time...they probably think you're a dead fish. You're pretty though..you have an out.

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  • im like you I get heart broken one to many times

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    • I'm sorry, It sucks.:( I just don't want to hurt anymore!

    • i know what you mean, but we learn from these we get better

    • dont worry, you'll find a guy who will love you no matter what and won't reject you, just be patient, look at you what guy could reject u, you look great but you just gotta wait and be patient for now, grow and learn

  • Your a very cute girl, I don't see why a guy would walk away. Shit give me a chance haha.

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  • There can be many reasons like

    1.Lack of taking Initiative

    2.Desperation

    3.Too outspoken or Honest

    4.Those guys were already in a Relationship

    5. You’re just not their type

    Well,Guys sometimes think, if I reject this pretty girl I will look cool,that can also be the reason

    My Advice: Just live your life like it is for now.And go with the flow.The right one will come along

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  • I am not sure, maybe the way want a slut? I don't see anything wrong with you, you are very pretty:)

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    • Thank you for your input and you're very kind!:) I will say I am not easy so it could be a possibility.

    • Your welcome my friend:) just stay postive an you eventually find someone, I am trying myself an it's difficult already. So just enjoy being single & you will eventually maybe someone will appreciate for who you are, just make sure when you do take time so you don't end up finding a jerk. I am sure you don't want to end up with one, those guys have issues,lol.

  • Elaborate on why get turned down? Maybe the ones that showed interest realized they wouldn't be compatible with your personality and you would be better with someone else and you aren't what they are looking for personality wise?

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    • This could be very likely, but I have never had and conflicts with personalities. I am a go with the flow type of person, I avoid confrontation and so I have never realized a problem. Maybe that is the problem or.. Idk.

    • Not saying your personality needs work, just some personality's aren't that compatible with one another. Also you have to take interest and other things of that sort, you have to have some things in common or someone may lose interest due to that reason. Lots can come into play.

  • wrong guys ? I mean you could try it on me and I wouldn't reject you :P

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  • If you flirt with him more (give him winks or touch his arm), then that will get his attention. Trust me.

    ask my question please? link

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What Girls Said 2

  • There are several reasons why you are getting rejected. I would like more details to give you better advice. I'm not sure if guys are not interested in the beginning, or if you are intimate with them, then they reject you. I would love to work on building your self-esteem!

    You could seem unapproachable due to body language.

    You could be sending off the wrong cues.

    Maybe you are giving the wrong impression to them.

    They might feel intimidated.

    Maybe you are too interested.

    You could come off as clingy.

    I would love to give you some free personal coaching. I want to see what is really going on!

    Please send me an email with more details, so I can help you more.

    link

    Love,

    Dina

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    • It seems every time I build up my confidence and self-esteem I get rejected and knocked back down again. Not sure what to do, I know I do send off some of the wrong body language and have trouble conveying how I feel.

  • I have had the same problem.

    If they reject you, it really is there loss. I am sure you are a really nice person, and you are very pretty. Perhaps they are nervous around really pretty girls?

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    • Both of you are very pretty...(:(:(:

    • Thank you, you're very sweet and I can't lie it helps to know someone as pretty as you has had to deal with the same issues. :)

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