Is it more sexy if a guy thinks he is too good for you, or if he is crazy into you off the bat?

Like there is this girl and she was really putting me on a pedestal, and I liked her. So I asked her out and it went well. Now the problem is that I need her to understand that I'm not desperate and to see my power. Should I be marginally negligent, or what... I can't reveal that I want to set the potential for something serious right? Or else Ill take away bad boy charm mystery and tension?

I want everyone to know how much your helping me... Great comments :)


Most Helpful Girl

  • There has to be a balance. Girls don't like guys who don't pay them any mind. We don't like the chase as much as guys do. However, you shouldn't smother her because that might freak her out. Find a place in the middle where she knows that you're into her but also that she can have a life without you. But if you're having trouble doing this, err on the side of smothering.


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What Girls Said 10

  • Just be who you are and don't try to play any games (they are for children).

    Just be straight forward in your needs and wants out of this, and she will respect you for that.

    If a guy thinks he is too sexy for me, he can be sexy by himself because I won't be dating him.

    I want a guy that shows he is crazy about me, this will make me feel wanted and special.

    But guys have to be careful in how they show a girl affection because they do not want to come off has needy or desperate.

    Ways to avoid that is to make sure she is reciprocating that same interest.

    Ex. If you're always the one calling her and she barely calls you (then clearly something is wrong).

  • I like a balance. I don't want a guy to be obsessed with me right away.

    I want there to be a balance. In the beginning I want him to be interested and pursue me equally to me pursuing him.

    Then as time goes on, he should show more interest in getting to know me, etc.

    Just be interested in the girl but don't do ALL the pursuing, otherwise she is going to expect it.

    Don't create a pattern you don't intend on following. If you always text her when you get off work at a certain time, she will come to expect that. It gets to be routine.

  • Just be honest and stop the games please stop the games because that's how you make things confusing with mixed signals. She already likes you and you like her now you should talk about it. Ask where do you see things going with us?

    If a guy thought he was too good for me then he can go f*** himself because I can already have any man. Its not like a guy is gonna turn down some p****. Women just have it like that.

    Why don't you make her feel good about herself now by giving her some compliments too, sinse she has done that to you, that's how you can let her know that you like her? Don't try to make her feel insecure. That's bad, you should want a happy confident secure woman.

    • Women do not just have it like that...

    • Show All
    • She had to decide that she was okay enough with you to let you enter her. Whether or not if she was a slut or a respectable woman. its always gonna be like that. Even if you initiated sex first, she could shoot you down at anytime. No matter how powerful you think your penis is. A man really has no say. If he tried to force a woman to have sex it would rape, but how can a woman rape a man. that's just stupid. especially if he is flaccid .

    • I think what's really going on here is that you want to feel special, and value the sanctity of a woman's role in a relationship... I sent you a friend request to make up for the harsh words.

  • Girls love confident, self-assured guys. Confidence and a direct attitude beat "hard-to-get" any day. Don't worry about seeming aloof and mysterious. You like her, she likes you, and that's all that matters. Let her know that you care, it's very attractive when a man can be honest and open about his feelings.

    • I concur with this; a man can be manly, while being emotionally open and sweet.

      Guys that do this are absolutely irresistible to women! :)

  • I agree with everyone who says stop playing games. It's sweet when a guy acts like he's really into a girl. For me personally, I can't stand men who are full of themselves. Just be yourself. Don't worry about being a bad boy or a good guy. Just be you!

  • No, don't act like your too good for her ew that a turnoff. But do act confident and like you don't just like her cause your desperate but because she stood out to you out of all these other girls you could have pursued. Shell feel special but also want to make you not change your mind.

  • Niether, I want you to like me enough. Don't be crazy about me off the bat...otherwise I'll think there's a hidden agenda.

  • id like to be equals in a relationship, neither of those types of guys sounds appealing. I want a guys who likes me just as much as I like him

  • Neither. Acting too good for a girl and being "marginally neglegent" makes you look like an arrogant jerk and she will be totally turned off and drop you. Acting crazy into her right off the bat will make you seem, well, crazy and cause her to go running for the hills. Just be a normal human being and build a friendship, then after a couple months of dating state your intentions that you want to be serious.

  • I won't pay any attention to a guy who is not in to me. Not that I would be able to tell that he thought he was too good for me, but if he was standoffish and showed little interest in me nothing would come of it.

    I don't get why people think that liking someone else is equivalent to being desperate. It isn't. Being desperate is the only thing that looks desperate. You barely met her so yes if you discussed that you want to "set the potential for something serious" that would be way too much. It's pointless too. It's great that you are interested in relationship as a potential but until you two date for a while, why talk about it?

    So, staying mysterious should be your goal, but I don't mean mysterious like you would see in a mystery movie. Staying mysterious while dating or in a relationship is about 1) not over-sharing, she doesn't need to know everything about you and you shouldn't feel compelled to tell her all your likes, all your dislikes and every significant event you can think of, spend time just talking about fun topics or finding out about her and 2) as much as you like her don't make your world about her. Keep up hobbies, interests and friendships too.

    I could go on and on about this but hopefully you get the idea. Don't go the route of marginally negligent, bad idea, but certainly don't go the route of constantly calling her and focusing on her either. Your life and activities should be keeping you busy enough that you shouldn't be able to do that.

    • You said why talk about it... Well I am afraid of trying to get to know each other over text, and I do not know how to explain that without revealing too much interest. My sense of humor is hard to understand without tone and body language.

    • Texting is not for getting to know someone. If you use it for that, you will have problems. Get to know her on dates, not text.

What Guys Said 1

  • Depends on the girl. Smart girls will prefer a guy who shows them interest. Dumb girls prefer guys who ignore them.

    I've had the pleasure and displeasure of meeting both types of women. Unfortunately for me, one has outweighed the other.

    A certain amount of unavailability is sexy to women whether they realize it or not. It's very common for a girl to lose interest in a guy they once liked just because he started being a bit more aggressive about pursuing her. It makes him appear to be of lower status in comparison to her.

    The trick is to find the happy medium. To always act like you are interested but to take things slowly. Don't be calling her every day to hang out. She has to feel like she still needs to put some work into you, but that that work is time well spent and likely to pay off.

    Ironically enough, the best relationship I ever had was one where I almost didn't want to date the girl (go figure), this made me naturally act somewhat unavailable. I hung out with her here and there, I texted with her a bit, showed my interest when we were together, but for the first two months of knowing her I didn't really go out of my way to hang with or talk to her. I was simply on the fence about her. When I asked her to be my Girlfriend she even said to me "I wasn't sure if you were ever going to ask". Even though I was clearly interested in her (we were going on dates), there was this little bit of uncertainty in her mind which did me wonders because it kept her feeling like I was higher status that her and therefore sexy. She felt like she had to work for my love.

    As another man and women once told me. The day she feels like she's got you in the bag, is the day she loses interest, and you don't have her in the bag until she's touched your penis. Funny but ironically true.