This girl gives me butterflies even when I comment her on Facebook. I just got her number last Friday and I don't know what to text her. I really like her and I don't want to mess this up. Can you help me?
Most Helpful Guy
If you don't start to relax and stop putting so much pressure on the situation, you'll likely screw this up. Stop worrying, it's only hurting your chances because of the negative impact it has on your behavior in regards to this situation.
Many guys have this backwards notion when they really like a girl that they have to play it safe. They put a high emphasis on not making a mistake because they don't want to screw it up. They don't want to push her too hard and drive her away or come off as overbearing, afraid they will scare her off. This is the most counterproductive thing I have ever seen. If a woman isn't willing to go out with you when you're being self-assured and confident in yourself, playing it cool, then WHY in the world would she want to date you if you're being meek and nervous/awkward or worse yet, if you're coming off like somebody who just wants to be friends?
My advice? Don't text her. Give her a call. Ask her out. "Hey this is ____, how have you been? ... So I was wondering if you were free this weekend?" Pick a place/activity before hand, preferably something where the time is flexible in case she might have something to do before hand already. If she says that she's busy this weekend, play it cool and just say maybe some other time. Don't sound like your dog just died. If she shot the plan down without any suggestion at another time, she probably isn't terribly interested and you can go a week or two without getting in touch with her. Next time you ask her to do something, just do it over text if you got rejected the first time, and perhaps make it something more casual like "a couple of friends and I will be going to the bar later, care to join us?" if she rejects that once or twice, it's likely a lost cause.
If she doesn't pick up, I wouldn't leave a message. Just leave a short text saying "Hey, this is ____, I called you before but you must have been busy, get back to me when you get the chance." or something similar. If she never gets back to you, you can just drop it there. Clearest sign there's no interest is somebody who won't even try to get back to you.
Also, the old saying goes "don't put all your eggs in one basket", and let me elaborate. That doesn't mean cheat or date a ton of women. That means don't put all your emotions and effort into the hopes this one girl will like you. Go out and talk to strangers, meet new people, etc. You hardly know this girl, a high level of interest is unwarranted. Unwarranted interest is a sign of desperation which isn't too attractive. There's no reason you should be overly interested in a person you don't know to well, so keep that in check. Once you get to know her well, if those feelings persist, congrats. Then it's a matter of creating mutual interest/attraction the best you can.