When a guy doesn't want a relationship is it the girl's fault?

My friend wanted me to meet a guy she knows thought we have stuff in common. I'm 22 in graduate school he just finished same field and moved to the city and got a job he's 26.

She showed him a pic and he said he thinks I'm attractive and would date me but is only looking for casual dating and asked if I am OK with that. Which I am not.

He didn't even meet or talk to me yet but it still makes me feel like I am not worth a relationship that I will never find one because I had the same issue with my last guy except I dated him anyway and got hurt so I will never do that again.

Am I taking it too personally? I just want a boyfriend so bad, and part of it is sexual.

Updates:
Even though in this case I didn't meet him or talk to him yet it still makes me feel discouraged like I will never find a guy who actually wants a relationship with me. Even though it isn't like he interacted with me and then decided, he apparently does not want one at all.
it is just because I had relationships before when I was younger, now I am older and I feel that I am at a good point in my life to have one and I would like to have one. but the past few guys I dated did not want one so seeing the trend makes it hard to stay optimistic

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Most Helpful Guy

  • i am in the same position as your online boyfriend and the woman I'm about to meet she wants in a relationship whatever that may mean she is 28 medical technician. I feel there is a lot to talk about before we even meet have sex and discuss things as it should be.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Casual dating = Casual sex. You are right to be upset, but at least he was honest with you. I'm sure you will find the right guy in no time.

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    • dude why should she be upset? she has never seen him or spoken to him

    • Because he basically said he doesn't want any commitment, just sex. In my opinion, that's kind of disrespectful. But you are welcome to disagree.

  • When two pieces of a puzzle don't fit together.

    Which of the two parts fault is it that they don't fit together?

    Don't place blame on you or somebody else when there isn't a good match.

    Try to find someone that match you instead of forcing yourself together with someone that don't.

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  • Why does it have to be someone's fault? Sometimes things just are what they are.

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  • that's nobody's fault.

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What Girls Said 4

  • He's never met you so it's not you. It's just what he's looking for at the moment. I wouldn't take it personally. Keep searching!

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    • In regards to UPDATE:

      You can't possibly know what's going on in someone's head. We're all think differently so what someone says about you is not what someone else would think. Don't base the entire human race on one rejection. Someone once told me that the pain of rejection only lasts a second but if you dwell on it, that's no longer the pain of rejection- it's suffering.

  • It's a matter of timing for many. A relationship done properly requires quite a commitment and when a person is beginning a new career, is in school, just out of a break up etc etc they just don't feel like they are ready to commit just yet. It's better than rushing into a relationship just for some easy sex and when things go bad everybodys hurt.

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    • Agreed. Unfortunately, too many younger people are more into their careers first and foremost than folks of our generation(working mom and I) who would never pass up a good person when they are right in front of us. He was upfront with you which is better than playing silly mind games, and you rejected. It's OK because neither of you could agree on what the two of you wanted.

    • @archer86: That's not unfortunate, that's smart.

  • No. It's his preference.

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    • Don't eliminate yourself with discouragement, no need to focus on that. Focus on things that you like.

      If you go about thinking there's barely going to be anyone who wants to have a relationship with you, when you get one you're going to jump at it with no common sense at all.

  • It is not anyone fault. People at different stages in life wanted different things.

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