Where are all the women looking for "nice guys"?

I always hear women either online or just walking on campus talking about the legendary nice guy, and how they can never seem to find one.

I'm one! I've been searching online for almost two years now and offline for about the same for a women who can appreciate me for me, but to no avail. What gives? While biased, many of my women-friends have expressed that I'm a nice guy and that a girl would be lucky to have me, blah blah. You get it.

I've been in two very long relationships, both ended against my will unfortunately. I can be clingy, this is something that I'm open to admit. I'm kind and caring, I love both giving and receiving attention. I'm incredibly understanding and laid back. Is this the problem? When I really think about it, in both of the relationships I had in the past we never argued. I mean that in the very literal sense, I can honestly not recall an argument.

Is it possible that I'm just too easy to get along with? Do women crave conflict, even if it is only minor?

Could someone help me out with some dating tips on talking to other women? I'm incredibly geeky and I'm kind of coming out of my shell finally... a bit late, but still. I don't care if women are into what I'm into, I'm fully aware that my hobbies are out of the norm and don't expect people to enjoy them themselves.

Halp!


0|0
4|5

Most Helpful Girl

  • My advice would be to combine your nice, caring nature with confidence and excitement. Flirt. Take initiative. Don't put girls you like on a pedestal, don't make them the most important thing in your life, but treat them well. Don't behave like you need their approval, behave (without being mean or stuck up) like they'd be lucky to have you. Don't be stiff. Be the kind of guy who takes charge, who can be dominant at times, women love the manly vibes such guys give off and it's not in contrast to being nice... And if all of that is just not you, be okay with whoever you really are. Good luck!

    0|3
    0|0

What Girls Said 3

  • Nice guys are legendary for been boring. Girls like guys who are intelligent, exciting, spontaneous and good humored. Those qualities don't need conflict.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Girls want a 'nice' guy but they also want to have fun and have excitement.

    Approach girls anywhere on the bus train at the mall. It takes confidence but it pays off!

    0|0
    0|0
    • It's easy to strike up a conversation on a shuttle, but the challenging part, I think, is actually taking it somewhere. Opening dialog and chatting with a girl is easy, but on a shuttle, then you have to get it to where you can ask for her number in 8 minutes or so, haha.

    • Show All
    • It's actually really easy. "hey, you seem pretty nice, maybe we could get together sometime for coffee?" exchange numbers. Personally I only do that on first meeting if I know I'd never see them again otherwise. In situations where I know I'll see them again that week or the next, I wait till next time. Half the battle is getting them to think about you. Making a strong impression then leaving them wondering if I'm interested is usually a strong way to do it.

    • That's such a dumb suggestion... it'll probably work brilliantly, haha. XD

  • Here's an idea! Try being mean to girls and see how many girls you can pick up then!

    Once you've realized that while being a jerk you're still not attracting women than you can finally realize that the lack of women in your life has NOTHING to do with the fact that you're nice :)

    0|1
    0|0
    • Completely accurate.

    • Show All
    • No, it's completely accurate. Being confident, funny, and unafraid to make a move has nothing to do with being nice or not. I can be completely respectful and genuine, and still make a move when I think the timing is right. Nice guys are friend zoned because they equate trying to make a move with being an aggressive a**hole. They confuse nice with timid.

    • I would argue that sometimes being unkind, or at least not nice, will aid you, every so often. It keeps a woman off-balance. Like, why are women unreliable so often, keeping guys guessing, being sweet sometimes, snappy others? Because it's a bloody smart strategy. Or they're insane.

      Women like guys who aren't nice and predictable, hence why being told you're a "sweet, nice guy" is a kiss of death so often. But hey, don't trust me. Go try to be a sweet, nice guy, and see what happens.

What Guys Said 5

  • Listen man, I was in the same place as you. But it isn't reality. Girls say they want a nice guy, but nice guys are seen as weak and are immediately friend zoned. I'm sure plenty of women will disagree with me, but it has already been proven to you. My advice, change up yourself. Do whatever youu need to do to get more confidence (join a gym, get a hair cut, volunteer with disabled kids, join a rugby team, etc.) and stand up for yourself. And I don't mean that to be disrespectful, what I mean is that confidense has a chance to over ride the "aw he's such a nice guy" mentality women have about you. Women don't crave conflict, they enjoy excitement and not being able to read you like a road map.

    0|1
    0|0
    • Exactly. The most important thing is self confidence--you are sure of yourself, and you don't need anyone's approval to feel good. If a girl says sure, cool. If she doesn't, you were going to do something awesome anyways. Just, look at Daniel Craig's James Bond. He's not a nice guy. Granted, most of us don't want to sleep with every woman we meet or kill people, but basically...

    • Exactly right. Self confidence and self respect. You mentioned Daniel Craig in James Bond but it goes all of the way back to Clint Eastwood, the girl I date has a crush on him. I can't compete with that, haha

  • They don't want "nice guys". THEY WANT to be treated nicely while in a relationship.

    And sorry to break it to you but bad boys will be always attractive to women. Women want a man that they can't fully control.

    Can a bad boy player type be a nice guy? YES. It sounds illogical but it is indeed logical.

    0|0
    0|0
  • You have two options. You take the blue pill--you go back to your life, to women saying, "Be yourself!" and girls saying, "Where are all the nice guys?"

    You take the red pill--you break through the lies, and find out the truth. You find out why women will tell you you're such a nice guy as they friend zone you, why few women are going to want a man like you until they hit late twenties.

    Make your choice--and remember, all I offer is the truth.

    0|2
    0|0
    • Show All
    • And remember that while all the girls will say: "Oh, be yourself, girls love nice guys!" Remember what the facts have already shown you.

    • Here, read this. It's a blog link explaining EXACTLY what problem the Question Asker is having. Read, and pass along to all your friends who have this problem--don't let another brother go through the same pain you and me did!

      link

  • They're taking care of their kids, who the bad boys & violent guys fathered.

    0|2
    2|0
  • The better question is, are you prepared to change once you find out why this is? Are you willing to change your mindset?

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...