How can I learn to stand up to my family now that I'm old enough to make my own decisions?

I'm very family-oriented, and I respect my parents, but I am an adult now (21 years old) and can make my own decisions. I've met a guy online and have been talking to him for a few months now. We really would like to start dating, but I'm really nervous about it because of how my family would react and I don't want to have to lie about how I met him, etc.

How can I get the guts to not care that much about what they think, but still not be an a-hole about it? I feel like I'm trapped with this issue since I still live at home and can't afford to move out.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well you do still live with them so I guess they can still feel that way about it. And why do you even have to worry about any of this? You don't have to even lie.. which takes half a second to say I met him at ___. Can just say I met a guy, no one can tell you how to 'get the guts to not care', you just need to tell them if you feel that strongly about it, do you leave near him?

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    • He lives 2 hours away from me, actually. That's part of what's making is so difficult. We just click so much, but we're trying to figure out how to plan a date. And I'm more of a homebody kind of girl and don't drive much, so I don't know how to ask to borrow the car and get out of the house without my family questioning me about why I'm suddenly wanting to go out and drive. It sucks.

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    • Well, I'm transferring to another school that would increase the distance between us from 2 hours to about 4.5-5. That's why we wanted to meet a couple times in person while it's still a shorter distance. That way if we still feel the same in person, we'll know if it's worth pursing something long distance for a bit. I know it sounds crazy, but we've already discussed everything and how things could turn out. lol

    • Damn that's really going to suck... yeah you should probably start meeting him asap then..

What Guys Said 2

  • Just STOP asking permission or approval, you do NOT need permission any more, you're ADULT now.

    You need the car?

    "I need a car Thursday, anyone else needing it that day?"

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  • Why is it their business who you are dating? You don't need their permission to date someone... Your relationships are your own. If it happens to go far enough that you want to introduce them to your family, then bring it up at that later time. Your relationships are your own. It's not like you're getting married...

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