I can't do this anymore, I need help!

I have never felt so low in my life, I have been through a break up of a serious relationship and bounced right back. Mainly because I was the one who ended it, so it was on my terms per say. Anyways I met a guy a few months after, we went on five AMAZING dates he was funny, easy to talk to and unbelievably attractive. Then after date five he told me he likes where thing are and not really interested in dating. At that point I should have said cya! But no, I decided to be friends with benefits with this guy, this was such a bad idea. I fell for him of course and he would sometimes text, I'd see him every once and a while. We'd get into fights stop talking for a couple weeks then get right back to it. Then evenutally we ended it. A month passes, I was doing great I had moved on and BAM he sends me a text he misses me (aka he hasn't had sex in a while) so what do I do? Go back to him of course. Same old song and dance until finally I had it, he would say he wanted to see me but then when I make plans to see him he would say he couldn't cause he thought I'd get too attached. I was so tired of his bull sh*t I laid it out pretty brutally in a text. Pretty much saying F you, you're an a**hole and selfish. I have never said anything like that to him before. And he got mad too and called me a c.unt and everything else. The day after I was a mess, I regretted it, was heartbroken that he could talk to me like that. A couple weeks past and I was doing great, started school again. Until these past two days, all I want is him back. I don't know why he never wanted a relationship because we were doing this for a year and he never commited. I feel bad for yelling at him and want to apologize but I shouldn't have to. All I do is think about him and I am sick of it, I don't know what to do anymore...


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Here is what I see in this one... first off you had 5 amazing dates with him, that's great, but then he decides he doesn't want to date (doesn't want to commit- just wants sex) You go with this plan because you hold on to the thought that you could be much more than friends with benefits, plus you feel like you have this "emotional and physical connection" with him, but I'm sorry to say all he wants is the sex, he was using you from the start. Here is what else I noticed is that he cancels on you because he thought you would get too attached, when really the thought crosses my mind that he also had other booty calls. I honestly don't think he cares one flip about you, how can anyone call their lady all these names, this guy sounds very immature and definitely doesn't want to be with just one girl. He was probably thinking why be in a relationship when I can have sex any time I want? The thing is you have to remember the whole friends with benefits idea, no strings or emotions attached...so tell me is this a guy that you really want to be with? Again I am sorry to say but this guy has no intentions of ever being more than friends with benefits with you, but you know what? that is GREAT! You deserve so much better. I think part of it is he made you feel "wanted" and that could be why you are having those "I want him back feelings" but in reality, why would you want to be with someone who treats you like crap and doesn't respect you or care about your feelings at all? If anyone needs to apologize it is him for using you, but the best advice I can give you is just let it go and find out exactly what you want in a relationship, love? respect? someone who wants to spend time with you? ALL OF THEM! because you deserve them all, everyone does. So ask yourself why do I want go back with someone who treats me like crap and you already know the end result? I would advise not even talking to him because all I feel he is going to do is try to "lure you back into his web". You are much better than this, learn from this "mistake" and move on. There are a lot of nice guys out there who will treat you with respect, love, acceptance and want to be with only you. So let the past go, learn from it, and help mold you into a better person for the present and the future...I wish you the best of luck!

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    • Everything you are saying is 100% true, but maybe now that I hear it from a complete stranger it'll finally sink in. I always had a small part of me that thought that "it is too good to be true" when I was going on those dates. And it was because he was making it perfect just so I would sleep with him and it worked, and he has probably done this with several girls and he thinks "he's the man" well I am proud I finally stood up for myself and showed him that I wasn't going to take his crap anymore

    • Usually if it feels too good to be true it is, but when you meet that someone it will be different as it will feel natural to you and you will feel that connection and feel completely comfortable around them. I am proud of you for standing up for yourself, now the next thing you have to do is let him go and you will really feel good about yourself because you deserve better, follow your heart.

What Guys Said 0

The only opinion from guys was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

What Girls Said 4

  • he told you from the beginning :/ girl, I'm in that same boat. except we haven't done the friends with benefits part. You're going to have to try your damn hardest to not think about it :/ you shouldn't have really told him off because he told you what was up from the start but still! after a year? that's gotta mean something for sure. He's def and a**hole for having you just as his booty call for that long. be strong! that's what I'm trying to do. I'm falling apart but you know what? you and i, we're SOO much better than stupid a**holes and just remind yourself that you can do SO much better. good luck <3 xoxo

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    • Thank you..I'm trying & I know I deserve better, it's just hard to be done with something that I tried for a year at and got nothing in return. But I only have myself to blame.

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    • It is good to know that I am not alone, I thought I was the only one who could be broken up about a non existant relationship lol

    • You both deserve better, learn from the past and live in the present, there are guys out there who will treat you like a lady with respect, love and acceptance of who you are. Everyone deserves to be loved. One more thing- even though it may be hard, NEVER compare a current guy to a past guy, each person is different and everyone should be given a chance to have someone fall in love with who they are, not how they compare to EX's. Best of luck to you both!

  • You really need to step back and look at how he's using you for his deeds. Where's he when you wanted a relationship. he saw how you wanted him and he tok it 2 his advantage.he's such an a**hole. I dd this but I didn't have sex, I did this sexting thing, like for 2 years with this a**hole I knew. I finaly had closure and said eff you bye.have a great life.

    Now we are talking again and he's different he grew up.but yes it is prettyhard since you like him and are attracted.but don't let him push you around.

    Btw,I you could check my post you guys.I really need help too :(

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    • I am reading it now, I will help you out, give me some time to write it, if you have ever seen my advice before they aren't short :P

  • Forget about the guy he clearly doesn't value you or respect for that matter. I know how tough it is but tell him you aren't speaking to him anymore and delete and block his number from your phone (so that you're not tempted to talk to him), delete him from your Facebook, etc. Once you stop talking to him, you'll forget about him. Trust me it helps a lot.

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  • This guy took you out on 5 dates so you could get hooked , He saw how much you liked him . He used you from the beginning , A person will only treat you the way you alow him too , He told you he didn't want a relationship and you still gave him sex wow . Have more respect for yourself and don't let a man or anyone use you like that , This man has several women , I can tell by your description . You tell him off and now you feel guilty , You shouldn't even care at all . Let him have it without regret , It couldn't be me , A man knows who to play . While you're regretting what you said , I bet he's not regretting having sex with other women because you have to know he is . Not trying to be harsh but just don't let men use you.

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