Sex with ex and I want a lot more but he says he's unsure. what should I do?

so me and my ex ended up bad terms. the weird thing is..i accidentally texted him and then he called me saying "hey can you please stop fricken texting me and stay out of my life?!?" and then somehow it ended up me going to his house for sex (I initiated it)after an hour long conversation of old times and giggles. I showed up at his house and he immediately starting kissing my forehead and holding me in his arms and he then he was like "are you sure you wanna do this?" and I was like "yeah" and then we had a lot of sex and he still called it making love. he told me that I hurt him really bad and he's been comparing every girl to me and when I kissed him sparks flew and sparks never flew with any other girl. he said he wanted to tell me he loved me but he couldn't because it wasn't ready for all that entailed. the reason we broke up is because I have adhd and I'm impulsive so I broke up with him all the time. he got sick of it and said "i want you but I need something steady in my life and it's not a steady relationship if you keep breaking up with me and breaking my heart" after sex we cuddled and he held my hand and said "so what would you describe this?" and I was like "love" and he said "no..this. what we just did" and I said "idk..friends with benefits?" and then he was like "that's sounds sleazy. is there a better term for people who do stuff together?" and then I felt stupid..

he dropped me off at his house before school and hugged me and kissed me. I don't know it felt like how it did when we were together but I want it to be official. he says he's not sure if he can trust me again since I lied to him a lot and played head games. I said I changed but he doesn't believe it. I don't know what to do. he's the only guy I want but he sounds so unsure about me and I don't want to have meaningful sex with him if it's meaningless to him.


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What Guys Said 1

  • You need to know that people won't tolerate their partner breaking up with them like that. It completely destroys trust, and without that, there can be no relationship.

    I'm very up-front with the girls I date. I tell them "I want to be very clear: I take relationships seriously, and if there are problems, I'll work hard to fix them, and I'll be very understanding of just about any issue or problem. But I take break-ups just as seriously, and if we break up, it is OVER, and no second chances."

    I don't know what you can do to convince him that you've learned this lesson, but you can start by talking to him and explaining that you are aware of what you did, and how bad it make him feel, and you understand why he is having trouble trusting you, and then explain to him what has changed in your mind, and in your attitude, and tell him how important he is to you. If that isn't enough, probably nothing will be.

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