Needed post-breakup advice?

My girlfriend and I broke up last week. We only dated for 2 months but I was her first boyfriend, the first person she kissed and did anything sexual with (just not sex). I broke up with her through text sent her a message about how unhappy I was about the once a week text and rarely being able to see her. I said that we should only be friends for now until she wasn't so busy. she replied a few minutes later saying "really through text?" So I called her and talked to her and I regretted breaking up already. She started crying while I was trying to apologize and she told me to leave her the hell alone. And it went on for about 15 minutes with me trying to apologize and trying to tell her I didn't really want to break up. after the apology she said she didn't know what she was feeling, and then that she just needed some time to think. I know about all these no contact rules but sometimes that's really hard, but I called her that night and we talked and her voice was really sad and I told her that I was coming over to talk to her and to try and fix things no matter what she said and hopefully it wasn't to weird for me to do that (obviously that was a stupid statement in hindsight). She paused for a few seconds and then said yea its weird and I said I'm still coming and she said if I do that she won't see me and I said I'd wait and she started crying and saying that she just needed time to think, and that I just needed to leave her alone repeatedly. so I said OK just know I really care about you. So some days pass and I sent her a long apology (which I shouldn't of done) and no response. What I wanted to know is how fast does it take for a girl to get over someone if they were the girl in my the situation or not. And what should I do about her? And any thoughts that come to mind.

Updates:
sorry people for being a p****. I forgot to mention the part where she never picked up my calls when I called her unless it was minutes before I picked her up for a date.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Ok, breaking up through a text is a really big no no. But breaking up with her for the time being was probably a good idea. If the two of you had been dating a really long time or where really serious then it wouldv'e been OK to stay together, because the whole relationships take work thing. in my opinion you did the right thing. when people really like one another, they make time. They will find time no matter what to be with that person. This was her the first relationship, so everything is new to her, people always tend to go all in on their first, theyve never been hurt, and theyve never had to have someone else to care before. First, stop apologizing about breaking up, the only thing you should be sorry for is for doing it over a text. Just tell her that you will always care and be there for her. that's pretty much all you can do. Just make sure she knows why you did what you did, and that you care for her, then the rest is up to her. How long it will take for her to get over it all depends on her, and how she handles things. but beleive me when I say the world has a funny little way of makingg things work themselves out and getting us to where we need to be in life. If its not her, there is someone out there a million times better. beleive me there, I'm speaking from personal expirience. Good luck...

    ps. if you decide you can't live without her... do something that will make her smile. women love cheesy stuff. flowers on doorstep type of stuff. doesn't have to be expensive or anything, you could do anything. hell write her a letter with this web address and let her read, that your serious..

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What Girls Said 7

  • Leave her alone for a while. I agree with her, really, texting? You couldn't give her the respect she deserves by going to her place, talk things out or break up with her face to face? You don't deserve her, sorry. She's right she's pissed off at you, she's right that she wants some time. Would you wanna get back together with someone who just texts you to break up?

    Give her a while, a week, maybe two. Tell her it was a horrible idea to just break up with her through text (seriously, I can't get over it) but that you wanna work things out. That you're sorry it happened and that you should've talked about the issues with her instead of just breaking up. If she still says she needs more time, tell her that it's good and that she should contact you when she's ready.

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  • WTF is wrong with guys breaking up through text. sorry but you are a pus'y.

    anyway you should just leave that poor girl alone, COMPLETELY. The more you talk to her/text her will make her think of you more and she will get the idea that you are torturing her mentally. there is no best way to make her feel better after a break up. don't even try to be friend with her or say any bull sh*t like that becos she will really think that she could be a friend that love you and stupid girl thing like that. so leave her in peace.

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    • gallie,breaking up through text is more than tacky and he made a mistake,he clearly wanted her full attention because she was being distant,yes it back fired but maybe now she can think about how she contributed to this whole thing,you don't just blow your boyfriend off like that,he was stewing about it and over reacted but I don't blame the guy,she was the blame for this reaction.

    • Oh sorry I didn't read carefully. I take it back. :(

      but still I suggest to leave her in peace for a while.

  • well,I'm not too sure but you said she hardly ever text as it is, and you hardly saw her so it may take her long or not,she is hard to read..you sent her a long apology letter and she didn't reply,let it be for now,give it 2 weeks,but the ball is in her court now so you really can't do anything else..maybe you did the whole thing wrong but it was merely to get a different reaction,like I might have thought she would call and ask you why? and say she wants you and sorry for neglecting you and that she would make more time for u,instead she became the victim,and now no matter what you say,its up to her,you would think that you being her first everything would cause her to have deep feelings for you and want to see you every chance she gets...you felt neglected as you should, and she needs to be there for you now.

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  • i think people should lay off for you breaking up with her over text...i've ended 2 relationships that way. Sometimes there's no other way to do it. I think you should just give her the time she asked for...i know it will be hard, and I think its stupid how she reacted. Since you were her first .. well everything, she should have stronger feelings. I still have strong feelings for the first guys I kissed, dated, had sex with, etc. and those relationships were between 1-4 years ago. I think you were right to call into question why she was acting how she didd, but maybe instead of breaking up with her you should have just talked to her...sorry I'm analyzing the situation instead of answering your question. I don't really know how long it will take for her to get over you. She's kinda hard to get...Maybe a month? Maybe less I'm not really sure. But hopefully she'll contact you soon! :( I'm really sorry about your situation.

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  • You are an idiot.

    1) through text...really? that just shows how little respect you had for her to begin with.

    2) If she asked you to leave her alone, then leave her alone. No amount of apologies is going to cover your ass now.

    3) her "getting over you" depends on how much she was actually attracted to you, how successful her friends are at convincing her you were a jerk, and her own personality and maturity level.

    Just move on, you've already done enough damage to her.

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  • It may be the case that she isn't over you,but just realized that you are an a**hole,for breking up and regretting it the next moment.Don't toy with people.You should be sure about what you want before taking action. My ex did this all the time,but I was fool enough to return.

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  • why didn't you try and talk to her about your concerns instead of breaking up with her? I understand you wanted her to talk to you more but just telling her off prob wasn't the right way of going about it. Now she is really upset and yeah like crystal minds said leave her be for awhile.And to be so chicken about it to do it over a text...wow

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What Guys Said 3

  • Not in person? That's just weak man. Over phone or the Net are really bad ways of breaking up with someone,

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  • You're an idiot. I feel so bad for that girl.

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  • Normally it's the girl who does something this stupid - in your case, you're the guy, but you did it.

    You don't get to blow up a relationship by breaking up, and then quickly demand a do-over and a takesy-backsy.

    It doesn't work like that. I'd say this to a girl who did the same silly thing, and I'm sure not going to sugarcoat it for you, sir. You're a guy, you should know better.

    You shattered the foundation that the relationship was built on.

    I know you want to fix it, and make it like it never happened.

    Believe it or not, she wants the same.

    But her method of fixing it, requires space.

    And you're SUCH a freaking coward, you're not giving her that space. You're being the same emotionally controlling emotionally manipulative little prick that you were when you dumped her over a TEXT MESSAGE.

    The more you try to insert yourself back into her life now, the more likely it is that she will just dump you forever. This "I'm still coming over" sh*t, is just showing her how pathetic you are.

    She might be crying now, but she'll see that even through the tears.

    Your ONLY hope right now, is to give her space, give her time, and hope to whatever gods you believe in, that you haven't f***ed it beyond repair already.

    My honest suspicion is that you have.

    If you were the girl and she was the guy, I'd say it was definitely over. But girls can be more forgiving than guys, sometimes. So maybe you've still got a slim chance.

    The more you try to get back to her, the more you'll drive her away.

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    • thanks for the brutally honest opinion, hopefully she's more forgiving.

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