He gives me his number but is surprised I called....

This guy has been friendly towards me all year. I never thought anything of it since he's younger than me and I don't tend to date younger guys -- or recommend that they date me. I happened to go out with a guy his age the other day and suddenly he seemed very distraught. I had his full attention for three days. Finally today he comes up to me and asks me out. I laugh it off as a joke and nudge him away, but he's persistent. On my way out, he gives me his number and tells me to text him. When I finally do, he seems -- and actually admits that he is -- surprised. (Why in the world would you give a girl you've been flirting with for MONTHS your number if you're not going to want/expect to hear from her? It's confusing...)


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Most Helpful Guy

  • He was surprised because he likes you, but you were reluctant to go out with him, so he thought you probably weren't interested. He WANTED you to call, but resigned himself to believing that you probably never would, since you tried to dissuade him before. I'm not sure why this surprises you in any way.

    A lot of guys really aren't used to women doing ANY pursuing of them, and so when one does, even just a phone call, it can be a bit strange, though it's still very desirable.

    Try to imagine if someone came up to you and gave you $50,000 in cash. That never happens, right? So if someone did, I'm sure you'd love to have the money, but wouldn't it also weird you out a bit too, just because it was so unusual? That's exactly how he felt: excited, happy, but also a bit out of his element.

    Girls are used to being pursued, but most guys aren't.

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    • amen. hit the nail on the head as usual oracle

    • He's really EXTREMELY attractive, but recently separated, bleeding heart, etc. from a relationship with an older woman; I figured he'd want someone closer to his own age. I introduced him to a few nice gals, but he keeps looking at older ones, so I gave up trying at some point over the summer. Now he sees I'm dating (after my divorce) and asks me out.

      Sigh. I know exactly what I'd do with $50K. No looking back. A nubile young guy like this? I'm good, but no friggin' way I'd dream of poaching him.

What Guys Said 1

  • I guess he was just losing hope about you calling him.

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    • Within five hours of giving me his number? (Shrug!)

What Girls Said 1

  • He might have thought that you wouldn't actually call him back.

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    • Yes, that's what he said. Odd, he was so persistent today, and sweet to give me his number. He saw me on my first date after my divorce (a few months ago) and said "You were on a date and so I said 'hi' & stayed away." My date asked if I was seeing this guy (surprising me completely). Then last week I was out with someone my age; the next time we meet this guy says he doesn't think my date was a good match for me. NOW he presents himself, but doesn't think I'll call. He's cute and funny. I ==>

    • ==> I just worry that he's too young for me (or that I'm too old for him). He shrugged when I said this to him, but he says "It'll be fun." ANd I know him to be a really monogamous sort of guy once he's with someone. I worry it's wrong for me to take up that space in his life...

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