In love with my best friend but I don't know what to do.

I've know this girl for the past 8 years. We were introduced at first with the intent to hook us up. Every one of our friends knew we had feelings for each other and always knew we were hanging out and talking. We always flirted with each other but never did anything about it. Our timing was always off. When I was dating another girl she was single, when I was single she was dating another guy and this kind of went on for about 2 years. We always came back to each other after the break ups and talked about dating or hooking up but again never did anything.

There was a time where we didn't talk for two years because my girlfriend didn't like her and her boyfriend didn't like me. But once those relationships ended we were back to talking and hanging out like nothing happened.

Now, 8 years since we met, she took me to a wedding as her date and we had a good time but nothing happened, maybe a little extra flirting but nothing more. Then a few weeks ago I took her as my date to a wedding. We had the time of our lives and she ended up just spending the night at my house.

I took a shower before sleeping and when I got out she begged me to share the bed with her. While I showered she waited up. After maybe 10 min of being in bed she backed into me and we spooned. 5 min later she flipped over and tucked into me. Then a little later she made the move and we ended up hooking up. Nothing more than making out but it took 8 years for us to hook up after having feelings for each other for 3-4 years after we met.

Now she's been busy for the past week with our city's fashion week but we've been talking like we always do, flirting the normal amount like we have but after hooking up with things that we have shared and said in the past year makes me believe there is something there between us.

Like do best friends of 8 years hook up? or take 8 years to finally hook up?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think it could take that long, yeah. Like you said, you both have had other relationships and other things going on. Sometimes it takes a while for things to get moving, or to even realize what you're actually feeling. I think at this point you guys need to sit down and have a heart-to-heart. If you don't talk about what happened things might get awkward, and will DEFINITELY get more confusing. If I were you, I'd ask her to come over for lunch or something, and then just tell her EXACTLY what you're thinking and feeling about her and the situation. Be completely honest about it and don't hold back. Let her know you're confused. But I think things will be easier to sort out when everything is in the open. At least you'll know where you stand.

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    • I mean yeah I'm confused.. we've had feelings in the past and now we're finally hooking up? She's just busy working this fashion week but it ends tomorrow and we got the weekend, trying to get plans going. I think she's afraid of me saying something that would make things awkward.. I don't think hooking up did. We took a huge amount of steps forward at the wedding with the good time we had and maybe lost a few when we kissed but I don't think its awkward.

What Girls Said 2

  • Lol 8 years! Oh lawd!

    This is a rare case. You guys could actually make it. But if it was me you would be permantly friend zoned...infact a unrelated brother.

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    • but if you "friend zoned" a guy would you have hooked up with him and spooned all night still... 8 years later after meeting?

    • see that's the thing, we did hook up.. years after meeting and she's the one who initiated it all and asked me to share the bed with her.

  • Sometimes, it takes too longcuz there are lots of obstacles. But if you really love her and you know she feels the same, don't be afraid to tell her.

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What Guys Said 2

  • You need to stop "hanging out" and talking as friends do...and ask this girl out on a "date". Obviously don't use the word "date" to her, but pick her up...go do something fun...maybe some dinner or lunch etc...and at the end drop her off at her place, and kiss her at her door step. Take her out once a week. Hopefully after about 5-6 dates she will bring up becoming exclusive...Bingo!

    She's probably wondering when you're going to man up and treat her like you want her to be your girlfriend. You've already wasted 8 yrs...don't waste another day!

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  • Dude, You have a great thing going on there, and putting a title on what you guys have just may ruin the relationship! I would tread veeeery lightly if I we're you, if anything just ask her how she feels about it and see what she says... you'll know what to do when she does.

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    • So you think just keep hanging out and see where things go and kind of just see where those things take us? I don't think I've been "friend zoned" because we hooked up and spooned for hours that night.

    • If you guys are that close, the very most I would do is slightly hint at how she felt about it... from there you will know what to do! It's sort of engrained into us :D

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