Being assertive when I never know what to do?

Okay I tend to never know what to do in a situation especially with girls. There are a few reasons for that such as where to take her, how should I break the touch barrier without her getting offended, should I kiss her now and how to do it good (never kissed a girl), and my also what to talk about. I need to be assertive, but since with girls I am a noob (even though I have gone on dates) and never know what to plan for to make a date good and memorable. On top of that all the girls I have dated nothing has come of them. I am guessing because it shows that I am not assertive/confident enough and they probably think that I am soft and just a little boy instead of being a man.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Aha. The trick is knowing that MOST PEOPLE really DON'T know what to do. It's like that public speaking trick where the instructor tells you to picture your audience naked so you can imagine them all being vulnerable and attentive to you. (Hmm. The Sponge Bob spoof off that still cracks me up to this day.)

    So you don't know precisely what to do? The natural body language will guide you if you just pay attention to it. People tend to over-think things that are relatively uncomplicated. Boy meets girl/girl meets boy; they are attracted to each other; they go out. See? Simple.

    Confidence often comes from expertise, but it can also come from knowing that no one is perfect and no one knows 100% what they're doing 100% of the time.

    "Be brave, my friend." ;-)

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What Girls Said 1

  • It just takes meeting the right girl.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Honestly? Fake it. I NEVER have any clue what to do with women, I am a bag of nerves. On the other hand, to look at me I'm pretty calm. Act like you know what you're doing. 9 times out of 10, you act like it long enough you eventually get decent at it.

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