I'm 18, and I've just started going out with this guy who is three years older than me. He's a really nice guy. The thing is, I don't want to kiss him or anything like that. I was abused as a kid, and as a result I'm scared of physical contact (the guy I'm dating doesn't know about the abuse. He just knows that I don't want to do anything physical). I told him that I would be OK with holding hands, but that's it, at least for a few years. He said he didn't mind at all. I find it strange that he'd still want to go out with me even though I don't want to kiss or anything. Is this normal? I told him that he should date someone else, and he said he wanted to date me. Is it fair of me to date him when I can't be physical with him?
Most Helpful Guy
He's a good guy (because he respects your boundaries) that cares about *you* and not just your body. He wants to have a relationship with you and not use you for sex. He's willing to wait because he wants to do things right, and make it good, when that happens.
Considering your history, I think it is a good thing you met this guy. It can be an opportunity to see that not all men are the same.
Going slow is a good idea. When you become close enough to him to feel safe with sharing your history, you may want to do so. I think very poorly of professional help since most of the people I've known have come out worse than better... but it probably wouldn't hurt to start googling self-help literature about how to overcome this issue in your life. Of course, use common sense, as always, when reading *anything* off the internet.