She wants to be friends for now? Am I being played?

I had this girl contact me about 8 weeks ago to go out for coffee and at the coffee I got nervous and told her I used to be a serial cheater and a man whore. So very bad date on my behalf, but during the week I decided to ask her out again and we went out for lunch and a walk and later that night I went around to watch a DVD and talk unfortunately I made the same mistakes and talked about my sexual history. I came away not realizing what I have said and thought it went well so the next day I texted her asking for more and she said she just wants to be friends for now as she was worried about my past. So we have continued to go on four more dates and a week ago she informed me she was on an online dating site and has had two dates with another guy she says she really interested in him. Anyway this made me panic and I told her again I was interested in her and I was due to leave for a two week boys holiday overseas and she said she would think about seeing me while I was away unfortunately I got sick and couldn't fly so I contacted her and we went on another date and it was going well until I tried pushing for a relationship. I have got into panic mode since I found out she has been dating guys from a dating website. Anyway I decided to cut it all and texted her saying such then she took my reasons as wrong and I went over and talked to her in person and told her I was interested etc she said she feels we match but there is something holding her back and my history scares her. I have also learnt she has been waiting for me to kiss her but I have never made the first move and told her so thought it was in her hands. We agreed to go out again and I left as she went off to a date. This has driven me crazy. When we are together she blushes easy and always twirls her hair, I thought these were classic signs of attraction and we get along so well we can spend hours talking. Do I make a move or continue to just date as a friend and see if I can stop talking about me and concentrate on her and see what happens and step up and kiss her at some stage or do I date other girls as I have options and just get her out of mind. I do really like her but I want more than friends do I be patient or am I being put in the friend zone, she says this other guy she is dating does not interest her but I am not sure and I will lose an opportunity with her or she ends up with someone else. Is it worth hanging in or cut and run and she is just playing me. I know she has been burnt before and she is confused but I am not sure what to do?


Most Helpful Girl

  • She's scared of you past and I don't blame her I would probably be too. Stop chasing her though it comes across as desperate.


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What Girls Said 1

  • Yeah I think she's stringing you along because she wants male attention.

    Sounds very selfish, like the exact opposite of girlfriend material


What Guys Said 1

  • You're both acting like idiots.

    You tell her you're a player - and she's attracted to that. But she doesn't want to be. So she tells you she's scared of your past. But she wants you to kiss her, to take charge, to be the player you claimed you were.

    And instead you turn into this quivering insecure mess - you refuse to kiss her, you freak out if she's dating someone else, you break up with her and immediately go crying back to her to get her back... On some level she has got to realize your stories about being a player were pure bullsh*t.

    If you had been a calm and confident player, you could have taken her, protests and all, and she'd have been thrilled to be "seduced" by you. Saying No, it's a bad idea, I'm scared of your past, but all the while being unable to say No to you.

    Instead, she's got you... And of course she doesn't know what to do with you - she doesn't know what sort of a mess she has on her hands.