I've only been on 2 dates, but both times I had no interest in the girls

I was interested in the girls when I asked them out, but during the date I realized that I couldn't see myself hanging out with them any longer than I had to. I seemed to have lost interest in them and as the date went on, it felt like a chore and it felt like it would be a chore to keep taking them out. And I sensed that they felt the same about me. As such there was never a second date.

Is this a normal part of dating? Perhaps I need to ask more girls out?


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What Girls Said 1

  • I understand I do this with guys on dates, on paper/from afar they seem fine to want to date/ask out etc but then you actually spend some time with them and all the excitment/spark has gone, well it does for me and I don't want to see them again.

    I think like me you need to try and make it to a second date even if you hate it and see if you like them more, good luck!

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    • yeah, that's the exact thing. The excitement and spark just isn't there. And here's the thing: it feels like it was mutual. Like she wasn't as into it, either. Which is why I'm hesitant in asking again. It's been a week and no contact and I saw her once in person since then with us ignoring each other...so that probably means no.

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    • yeah, that's what I think. I mean, I wouldn't be giving off those nonverbal vibes if I didn't feel that things were cold and awkward, right?

    • Well yeah I just think you haven't met the right person yet and that's why you're like that, we'll that's what I think about myself haha!

What Guys Said 1

  • It depends. Some girls are just plain boring. Other girls appear boring, but are just rather nervous. A lot of girls are trying to be on their best behavior during a first date, so they don't act like they normally do. My recommendation is try to see through which girls are acting nervous and see if they are worth a second or third date to get them to relax more. Separate those girls out from those that just appear to be boring and not making an effort. It isn't always easy to do.

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    • yeah, that's the heart of the question. I can't tell. I mean...the most recent first date I had, the vibe seemed to be awkward. But I'd known her for a few years and this was the first time we went out one-on-one, so I was wondering if that was contributing to it. Then again, based on my previous experiences, I don't want to ask her again unless she shows interest herself in wanting to go out again.

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    • right, but I don't also want to appear desperate or look foolish. I've done that before a few times with girls, chase them, when apparently it was obvious they were trying to shake me off.

    • If they don't respond, don't sweat it and keep messaging them. Just find a new girl, get her number and repeat the process until you find one that is just as interested in you as you are her.

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