Relationships/dating: leave it to "fate" or be pro-active? or both?

People are always saying you'll find someone/the right guy/the one etc when you stop looking or aren't even interested, but surely one should be actively seeking guys out/dating as much as possible to increase their chances of a good relationship developing? what do guys and girls think about this age old topic...(I myself have recently "given up" on dating and closed an online dating account I had for lack of anything really successful happening, also I found I was starting to view every date as some sort of "potential" which others have said they also start to do as time goes on while being single...friends have since said this is a good move and once I start to think I don't want/need a guy in my life and forget about guys/dating then something will happen!?)...


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'd say, do a bit of both! It might be fate you're seeing somebody in a certain place, but you have to be active and open. If you shut yourself down from contact with men, if you don't seem open to socializing, they won't come up. Heck, you can go up to them to talk!

    After a while being single, you try to be positive and openminded and every date you'll have, you can think: he might be it! But if he isn't it, you'll be disappointed, less open to dating and the next date will almost feel like something you "have" to do.

    I'd say: live your life, go out with friends, go places you wanna go, but be open for contact. If you see a guy you like and he doesn't approach you, find a way to approach him. You won't find someone if you don't talk to people :)

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What Guys Said 1

  • Both. Worrying and dwelling about having a relationship can make you give off desperate vibes, while simply having a great life and being a fun person increases your appeal.

    But, you still need to be open to having a relationship and ready to take the steps when a person you really click with comes along.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Honestly it's an old adage because it's true, generally when you stop looking someone comes along and it tends to work out because you are just being yourself at the time, not trying to impress or hold some pretense. It's also true that acting a bit disinterested in the very beginning makes a guy want you more because it's a challenge. Now I don't mean not returning his calls or texts or blowing off dates, but keeping a low profile at first is good. After a first date wait til he contacts you to say how much he enjoyed it instead of you getting in tough with him. Let him suggest times and places to hang out, if he feels like he's doing the work he will automatically think he must be into you or else he wouldn't be working this hard. So try your best to stop sending out the vibe that you want a relationship from the get go and relax, go out and have fun and let mr right find you, not the other way around

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  • Be pro active and make your own fate..

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