In October I became devastated when my boyfriend of 3.5 years broke up with me out of the blue. This wasn't the first time he had done this, he has some inner issues that kept driving him to push me away. Needless to say, I was fed up with being a doormat and moved back to my home 14 hours away from him, and my life there that I had with him. I felt hopeless for months, never suicidal, but just the feeling that the hurt will never go away, that he would never leave my heart and my head.
Then, in the end of January I met this really great guy, he's really established, has great goals and aspirations, really straight laced which is good for me because I'm a little bit of a wild child at times, have lived most of my life on a whim and on the edge if you catch my drift. Anyways, he treats me really, really well. He's so different then my ex, cares about how I'm feeling all the time, and when I'm down always wants to make it better. Wants to talk issues out and not just suppress them till they explode (my ex was great for that) he always wants to do things for me to help me out (he fixed my other car because I have money problems from my last relationship so I could sell it and make a bit of extra cash...btw he paid for parts initially, and I'm paying him back when the car sells)
But for some reason I feel like something is missing. But its driving me crazy because its like what more do I want? He's a GREAT person, and could potentially make a great companion at some point, but I just feel so unsatisfied.
I still think about my ex all the time, as much as I try to push the feelings away and fight it, I still miss him and I still am sad about everything. My problem is this, I never ever want to hurt this new guy, If this is a rebound I want to break him free to find something better, I don't want to ever hold someone back or bring someone down, so it would be better to do it now then later when more feelings could be involved.
I know he's really into me which is why I'm so scared to hurt him. But I also don't want to hurt myself by giving something up that could potentially be the best thing I've ever had because I'm being stupid about missing or still caring about my ex.
My ex was my best friend, we were the same person but the male an females versions I swear...And its just like this new relationship is lacking that...But maybe its to soon to tell...I don't know, the love was there so fast with me and my ex for both of us...What do you guys think?...I'm so lost as to what to do, I just want to do the right thing.
My ex is 25
New guy is 23
Most Helpful Guy
ok you are just scared. You are obviously not over your ex. If you don't want to hurt this guy then let him know now that you aren't ready for a relationship. Explain to him that you still have a lot to figure out in your head and you are afraid that if you jump into another relationship too quickly it will only lead to problems down the road.
People are always ready for some type of relationship. He might be ready to be in a committed relationship where you are just looking for a friendly relationship... possibly with benefits. If you two aren't looking for the same thing... I'll give it 3 months till it starts getting awkward. I'm letting you know that you aren't alone... Everyone goes through this after a break up. I have had to turn down a lot of good girls because I constantly thought about my ex. I didn't feel right... I felt uncomfortable and the situation just felt bogus. I know I needed personal time to figure myself out, maybe you need the same?
Its not good to jump into another relationship right away. It is possible that you'll find the wrong person.
Here's the truth. If you really like this guy and you think their might be potential in the future then be his friend. By being his friend I mean keep the relationship extremely light. No sex, No dates, No anything. Possibly just say hi every once in awhile and flirt a bit. Don't ask about girls he is seeing and don't mention other guys you are seeing. If you keep a friendly relationship you keep the door of possibilities open down the road.
Focus on yourself first. Eventually you will be ready to enter another relationship.