My boyfriend of 15 months left me 6 weeks ago. He's asked out four girls since then and is now with the fourth one. Do you think it's a rebound relationship? He admitted to me just days after the break up that he hates being alone, he misses having someone to love, hold, look after and just generally enjoy being with. His self esteem is very low and I know being single makes him feel worse about himself.
He was my first love. I've tried my hardest to move on, but it doesn't matter where I go, what I do or who I'm with, I can't stop thinking about him and I fall deeper in love with him everyday and there's something inside that's holding me back. I have this feeling, like an overwhelming instinct that he'll come back to me one day. Am I just losing my mind? Please spare me the sarcasm and nasty comments, I know how strange this sounds but I can't ignore this feeling. He says he's over me but he still tells me that he'll never love anyone the way he loved me and that I'm everything he has ever wanted in a girl. He almost never mentions his girlfriend and if he does he quickly changes the subject, usually to something about our relationship. He's aware of my feelings for him and when I asked how he feels about me, he said "I'm so sorry darling, but I can't go back." Is he scared we'll both end up getting hurt again? Or is he really over me and I'm just getting my hopes up over the things he says to me?
Can anyone offer help or advice? Please don't tell me to start dating again, I don't want anyone else and it would be unfair to use someone when I love my ex.
Most Helpful Guy
well you are not alone... I've gone through the same thing. You should probably cut off all contact with him. It's normal to want them to come back to you... but do you really want someone who doesn't want to be with you? That is your insecurity inside preventing you from letting him go. You need to really focus on yourself. Think of the following things:
Your Career - further your career or schooling
Your Hobbies - take up a new hobbie (preferably on with other people)
Your Friends - go out and make new friends
Your Family - get to know your family better. ask about your parents when they were kids.
The goal is to focus on yourself. He is the last thing you need around you at this time. It is really selfish for him to be around you when he knows how you feel. He just likes the attention you give him and it fuels his ego and raises his confidence, but at the same time it smashes your ego and destroys your confidence. Surround yourself with new people. Get a new job and make new friends.
Tell him at this point you really can't be in contact with him. If he is your friend then he will understand. These things take time to get over, but in time you will. The way you are feeling is completely normal, but you have to take a step back and see the situation clearly. Your life is more important so focus on it. Once you begin to meet new people you will be surprised at how much easier this emotional roller coaster will become.
And don't worry about finding another boyfriend just concentrate on making friends. That will make you much happier and eventually it may lead to something unexpected. =)1