How can I get over knowing I ruined it with a guy I like so much?

'm 19, and there's this guy I'm really into, he's 26. We used to see each other back in May, after 2 weeks of talking, he disappeared for months. After 4 months, he decided to start talking to me again, yet I still felt like he was trying to sweet talk his way into my pants and maybe test how naive I am. I continued to talk to him in hopes that he would get to know me well enough and like me for my personality. He barely called me but he took me out to coffee and dinner once, and he didn't really ask questions to get to know me better. I didn't kiss him on the first date & ever since that date, he never called me ever again. I am a very down to earth & have a big heart with lots to offer, but I feel I ruined it with him because I was nervous in the beginning/inexperienced with guys, leaving him with a bad impression of me and also maybe I didn't play hard to get enough since I really liked him. He didn't get to see that side of me that everyone knows and loves. I wish I could have left a good enough impression to be his next girl. I wish I could go back in time and do things again, but better. How can I get over knowing I ruined it with a guy I like so much?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • The sad fact is, we all--and I mean ALL OF US--screw it up badly with at least one person when we're younger and we're still in the stage where we crush on people. It's an awful feeling. But, it happens.

    So, pretty much all we can do is try to not regret our mistakes that much, and learn what to do next time. You'll meet other people. Even if this guy was literally one in a million, that means there's 300 guys *exactly* like him walking around the States.

    And honestly, try not to think about it. I had a similar mishap, horrible, still regret everything I did. So, I try to blot it out, haha. Or follow Jack Sparrow's advice: "Close your eyes mate, pretend it's all a bad dream. That's how I get by."

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What Guys Said 4

  • First of all... no offense to what I am about to say but... these kind of make me want to bang my head at times...

    Clearly he wants to get in your pants. That is why you could sense that. So why is it, that you (like most other girls) think "IF ONLY HE GETS TO KNOW ME, HE WILL ACTUALLY BE NICE" and when it turns out that he really is an ass you think "OH... I BLEW IT!"

    No sweet one you didn't. You ran across and ass that only wanted booty... when you stood up to it he slunk away. How is that your fault? Why would you want to be with a guy like?

    A lot of guys are like this, spend a little time reading GAG and you will see the number of girls that are in the same place as you, wanting some ass of a guy to change.

    I know I am being harsh... so please forgive me. It is just a pattern that happens again and again. And always has... And it always will as long as girls down run from guys that just want a "piece" and nothing more. Hopefully you will be smarter.

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    • I guess..I mean the reason why I think I blew it is because one of my guy friends who used to be this way told me that no matter what, if a guy likes you, he will look past just trying to get in your pants and want to get to know you better, that's why I think maybe I messed up and didn't get to show the Me that everyone loves, so he just thought I was nothing special...i don't know, you're a guy, so what's your opinion?

    • I told you my opinion. And *sigh* for you to say you are nothing special is kind of silly. How is the fact that he is an ass, your problem? Say he was a murderer instead of just wanted in your pants... would you say "Well I must not be anything special, he didn't murder me." No you would say "THANK GOODNESS!" Well say that here... he didn't get what he wanted, so be thankful for it.

      Your guy friend is not telling you the truth by the way.

  • This guy is not good. This guy clearly is not interested in getting to know you anyway, and you have no obligation to change his attitude. You just met a rotten apple.

    Your are 19, and you have your prime 20's ahead of you. that's plenty of time to meet a guy who is not a waste of time.

    If you meet a genuinely good guy, and you are nervous, that won't ruin anything. You didn't ruin it with this guy. This guy was dead on arrival. forget him and move on.

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    • Thanks a lot :) I appreciate your answer, by any chance do you think that maybe by not being hard to get/mysterious enough got him to not want to pursue me?

    • Acting mysterious or acting hard to get is probably not in the formula for what builds lasting relationships. Capturing a guy's genuine interest in you and your life is the beginning of a genuine relationship. Being mysterious or hard to get are both an act. Plus being mysterious just means your not being the real you or you not telling him everything. And that won't help you in the long run.

  • I've always said its easier for women/girls to get with someone. Unlike some of us guys who aren't that lucky.

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  • It doesn't sound like you ruined anything.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Easy. You're 19. There will be other men. Just because it doesn't work out with one doesn't mean you're meant to be alone. :)

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