Dating a boy who isn't white?

i am trying not to sound raciest but I met this nice black boy and we started dating and we have been for months my mom and whole family don't know about it. The reason they don't know is because my oldest brother(who died unfortunately) dated a black woman and when he brought her over for Christmas dinner my nana straight up said "Why the hell is a black woman in our house" and my mom and brother kinda would say the same thing I don't know what they would do but now I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO because the more and more I date him the more and more I am like I don't know if I could date him because of what my family would say he is also younger which my mom wouldn't like ugh this is so hard what should I do I mean should I just break it off since we been dating for like 2 months or should I keep it going without ever telling my parents or anyone in my family.

(also I get kinda nervous when I am like with him I keep thinking it would never work out between us and so many people would judge him if I said we were dating so I don' know what to do !)


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Most Helpful Guy

  • If you like the guy keep dating him. You already know the results.

    I am with you with one exception. Is he a draug man? I am with your parents if your guy is walking around with his pants down. There is a big difference between a young Black man and a draug man who has no respect for God or society.

    You will get caught so when you get caught, tell you family very politely, you have already seen the show.

    You have people who will hate you if you were with him or not. Hate you for being pretty and hate you for being ugly. Live your life, dance to your own beat, love and be loved.

    Good luck

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    • I probably should leave this alone but this comment fealt a little offensive. As a black guy who doesn't necessarily fit the description above I still feel compelled to say that a man's clothing choice is not a direct reflection of his character towards God Society or anything else. It is more of a reflection of the area he grew up in. Like every other human being the culture that a person is raised in has a strong affect on his attire. Like how many men in Alabama, where I'm from, wear boots.

    • And also a Draug is a mythical Nordic undead creature and I'm not sure how you're relating it to black people

What Guys Said 4

  • Yoou have to tell him right away what he is risking with your family. It wouldn't be fair to surprise him with this sort of reaction from them.

    If you can't handle this behavior from your family, it wuld be better to tell the black guy about it and break it off sooner rather than later..

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  • Stop dating him. You're still very much under the impact of a racist family. Like, you're indoctrinated so. The first thing you have to fix is your very own attitude. If you want to stop bothering about people, then shape your attitude in such a way and be bold and date that guy, giving a rat's ass to your family or society. If you're not ready to fix your attitude, then STOP DATING HIM!

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  • I went through a similar situation with the roles reversed. My family was not very welcoming to my cousin's white boyfriend so I was terrified to bring my now ex girlfriend around them. But I suggest you talk to him about it. I didn't and kept it bottled up and it led to a lot of confusion. She fealt like I was embarrassed of her which wasn't true. It started a long chain of issues and even after I was finally ready to introduce her to everyone it was too late and our relationship failed. It hurt and afterward I realized I lost one of the most important people in my life. So don't do what I did. Tell him about your fears and if he's anything like me he may be able to convince your family to love him. Her dad was a racist but he liked me and her mom thought I was the best boyfriend she had ever had but I ruined all of that. So talk to him first and then try your family.

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  • i would leave his black ass

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    • lol, these comments probably maake you want him more, go get him lol, make sure he is not a thug.

What Girls Said 1

  • You can try by telling your parents you're dating someone. If they ask you to describe him, tell them all the good qualities he has, he's nice, sweet, caring, he respects you, respects his parents, ...

    If they're all warm for him and are dying to meet him, invite him over. If they mention the fact that he's black or whatever color someone is, tell them that doesn't make him less nice, less sweet, less caring, ... If they ask you why you didn't mention the color of his skin, tell them you didn't feel it was needed to tell them that, does it make him a different person? No.

    Just let them know you're happy with him and you want them to respect him and your relationship.

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