Since we've been ignoring each other, no point in asking her for a second date?

I suppose we're friends, but after the date we've made minimal contact in the 3 weeks since then. No text or phone calls and we've seen each other in person a few times in class, only to completely ignore each other, no eye contact, nothing. The one time I talked to her, it was just us two in the hall, so we just made small talk for a moment (because to ignore her outright would be rude/show her she holds too much influence over me).

On my end, I'd be willing to try again, but I'm not feeling it from her end (hence my reserved demeanor around her). The date didn't end all that well as it seemed she didn't want it to go on much longer and, to be honest, I didn't do a good job either.

Any point in kicking the tires again? Or just let it go?

No, I don't think she's worth putting that much more effort in because, believe me, I did all the chasing to get her to go on the date (although it appeared SHE was the one who was into me, so I thought all I had to do was ask and I'd she'd go, but I guess that wasn't the case). Since I put in the effort to invite her out, if she was interested I'd expect her to be the one to initiate the next one. And she hasn't, so I guess she's not. And if I'm not getting enough positive feedback from her, I'm not going to keep trying.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Yeahh, she might just be feeling a little insecure because of how the last date went. It's weird that you guys have been ignoring each other for 3 whole weeks... You just need to go up to her and ask her, find out what the hell happened and where she stands. I think it makes more sense to ask her what she's thinking than to just ask her out a couple more times and then decide, "Oh, she's not into me anymore. On to the next one." There may have been something that happened that you don't know about. Just go up to her one day after class and be like, "I know our last date wasn't that great. I don't know how you feel about me at this point and just want to know what you're expecting from me now... Are we still friends or...?" Something like that... lol.

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    • asking girls directly where she stands never works. I find being more mysterious about my intentions draws them more to me. That's why I don't want to directly ask.

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    • It's not embarrassing, you just need to know how to word it. If anything you could just ask her how she thought the last date went and if there was any chance that she'd want to try again.

    • I said I would probably say no. You've got to understand that girls are cautioned about guys from day ONE. That guys are players and blah blah blah. I'm not saying you're a player, just that girls are always on the look outs for them. And if some guy ignored me for 3 whole weeks.. he'd need a pretty good reason for why and then he'd need to convince me that he wasn't taking advantage of me.

What Girls Said 1

  • I'm in a similar situation and Idon't know what to do ... I like the guy and I'm expecting him to get in contact with me. I've dealth with a player before and I really hope this isn't the case. So for m, the reason for which I don't initiate things is because I'm afraid to put myself in his hands or be at his mercy.

    Make the first move because it's very difficult for girls to put themselves on a silver platter in front of you especially if we did that before and it went wrong.

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    • but I did make the first move! I can't be expected to keep making moves if I'm not getting positive feedback from her.

What Guys Said 1

  • One's to assume that you want to ask ol girl out again, since you're asking strangers what you should do. I say go for it. I mean, you aren't getting anywhere by NOT asking. Don't ask too much though, never put a woman that isn't kin to you on a pedestal, except your wife.

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    • well, it's the uncertainty that's bothering me. If she wanted to, I'd do it. But I also value my dignity and protecting myself and if she hasn't shown me a lot of signs of interest since the first date, I'd rather leave it, than be seen as a guy who can't take a hint/stalker/chaser.

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