Do you think we are the opposite of trophy wives, for selfishness is on the rise. Do you think it is our hair, nose, skin color, or weight. What can I do to seem more available or approachable. I love university, am a virgin, a christian, and love to exercise. Should we just move to different countries that appreciate black women more like even West Europe? Ironically they have a lower extent of racism? Need advice, be serious please.
Most Helpful Guy
I'm going to answer this even though there's a bit of baiting here; I'm going to assume you are wanting a real answer. I've dated black women before, and I'd have no problem dating another, so I have nothing at all against black women in general.
Having said that, I will give you an idea of things that "white" guys (which really means non-black middle-and-upper-class guys) don't like about some/many black women (these aren't traits exclusive to black women either):
- Ghetto behavior: being loud, rude, in-your-face, inappropriately sexual, foul language, promiscuous, ebonics, etc.
- Ghetto-fabulous style: super-long fingernails, animal print clothes, etc.
- Weight. Many black women are overweight (true, many white women are too), and white guys tend to be less forgiving.
- Overly religious: many black folks are overly into religion, "praising Jesus" constantly and making non- or less-religious people uncomfortable. Some of them also put on a big show of religion, but live NOTHING like a religious person, and don't see the irony there at all. Again, not exclusively a black issue.
- Cliquey: Many black girls only hang out around other black people, which can intimidate white guys from approaching her. And many black guys act like black girls are "their" women and intentionally intimidate non-black guys from being around them. A girl would need to be more assertive and stand up for herself and not let other people speak for her.
Most white guys would be happy to date a black girl who was not extremely conservative but also not ghetto; they want one who knows there is some middle ground, in both behavior and style. They don't want a girl who is too heavy. Curvier is okay, but not fat. And religious overtones need to be scaled way back, unless you are around people you KNOW are comfortable expressing their religious beliefs regularly.
And almost no guy, of any color or culture, wants a girl who is against being sexual. That doesn't mean you have to sleep with him on the first date or anything, but sex needs to be "on the table" eventually if he's going to be in a relationship with you.2