I was wrong, I messed up, but I don't know how to make it better

So here's my deal guy and girls, this girl whom I've known for about 8 years now has made it known to me that I can be immature overbearing and handle things like a baby sometimes. normally I wouldn't care, so why do I you ask? simply put as long as I've known her I've always been attracted to her but I never was good at showing it. when I am around her I'm always shy bashful and way too self conscious. whenever I do say something its mostly inappropriate and generally offensive. however a some months back I said something that was the las straw. and recently I went to great lengths to express my sorrow and other aspects of how I feel(letters,long texts, Facebook message)which came off as very immature and overbearing, only to be told that she is tired of dealing with my constant insulting statements all the time that we never talk about anything and when we do its me being a jerk to her. its never a real conversation and we've never been that good of friends, for year I was naive and deluded to these facts but I've realized that I want to work on these shortcomings and better myself however she is tired of everything I've done and how I've handled this situation and seems unwilling to give me another chance, can't say I blame her but what do y'all think I should to do try and solve this dilemma of mine?

any and all suggestions accepted


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What Girls Said 2

  • You should tell her that you've always been attracted to her and you have been acting that way because you're so nervous around her. Just tell her how you really feel. You have nothing to lose

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    • i have actually said that and few times in the attempt for forgivness however because I can be an enormous jerk I always find myself apologizing for what I do and find some way to silly way to rationalize it. I can only assume that she she see's it as nothing more that another attempt to say I'm sorry and do it all over again.

  • I have a friend like you. I think he likes me and I am attracted to him too but I don't understand why he acts and talks the way he does sometimes. If I wasn't a mature person, I would have blown him off for being a jerk to me occasionally. Luckily for him, I do see his good sides and I've learnt not to take his insults seriously. I learn to throw it back at him. Seriously though, this can go on and on and on. We are at a stage we don't know how to take it further because we ended up putting a guard so when we meet, it's all making fun of each other and trying to best the other in remarks. I wish to know why do you do that? It's great that you've tried explaining to her. What my friend did was he told me he may sound mean and all but he didn't mean it. He just never explained why he did it in the first place so I assume he's taunting me because he likes me. He makes up for it by being funny and joke around a lot with me and our friends. Maybe you can't help the way you are but you could show her that it's not just her you are acting that way with and that you were just trying to be funny but it didn't work with her. In the meantime, try to be nice. Girls are delicate fragile things even if we act tough and all.

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    • Really great answer.

    • Thanks JustChris.

      Just read the explanation again... 8 years of that? C'mon man... As much as I like this guy who's a bit of a jerk sometimes, I wouldn't want to stick around that long either. If you really want her, time to change that "we never talk about anything" part as well. Start sharing with her the real you - your insecurities, fears, LOVE, everything personal. I know it sounds cheesy but it works. All the best.

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