First Date- Who's Paying?

So I have a date. He picked the place and we're meeting there. And I'm wondering this. If it's a first date, is it understood that he's paying, or should you split it or what?

I always feel like it's awkward to be like no, no, let me pay for my half, but I guess it depends on the guy.

He didn't offer to pick me up at all, so I'm thinking maybe he's the kind of guy who likes to go dutch? What do you think?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Here's how I see it.

    The guy should pay for the entire thing on the first date. The first date shouldn't be super expensive anyway. He should enjoy paying and proudly show his generosity with a nice tip too, rather than cutting out coupons, bickering about the service and sweating.

    The second date, the guy should still pay for the entire thing as well, but on the third date, things should start "going dutch".

    And the woman? She shouldn't just sit there and look like a spoiled brat while the guy pays. She should offer to pay (and the guy should then tell her it's okay because he's going to pay). She should express her thanks. And every once in a while, she should do a favor for him like making him cookies or something. Anything that shows gratitude is fine. Because if the woman says and does nothing while the man pays for several dates, the man will assume she is ungrateful brat who is using him.

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What Guys Said 14

  • If you've never met in person...then its better to meet at the date location. He should be paying...but it wouldn't hurt tor at least go for your wallet...just to see how he reacts. Some guys are offended if a girl offers...and other guys are offended if you don't offer.

    Lets say you go to dinner. You could offer to pay for the dessert...or when you go get icecream afterwords. Its just a classy thing to do.

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  • If it is me, I am going to pay. If she offers to pay I'll tell her I've got it. I don't feel right letting her pay on the FIRST date. If further down the line she wants to start paying she can if it will make her feel better, but I always offer to pay for everything.

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  • The man.

    If he don't then he's a feminine man or a loser.

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  • How'd you meet?

    You should be ready to pay half. I'd offer. If he says he's got it, let him pay.

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    • Exactly right, I would leave a girl to pay, but I would be happy if she'd asked to pay for herself.

    • ups lol, I wouldn't leave a girl to pay, but if she'd offered it would be sweet, but to let girl pay is so sucks.

  • My philosophy is that whoever asks the other one out, should be prepared to pay. They asked to take the other out, and so is offering to do something for them. Despite that, I think going dutch should be standard.

    As for what you should do. I think most guys are OK with a girl offering to pay half, though some will insist to pay for everything. Don't worry about going dutch, but if he insists on paying, just go with it.

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  • offer to pay for yourself, itll make you not seem like a gold digger, if he doesn't offer to pay for you after, be like F*** YOU but have a nice day and walk away, making him pay regardless. I think all guys should pay for first datees but girls should offer to pay for themselves

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  • I'm told its whoever asks for the pays

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  • first date guys pay its kind of awkward to make girl pay for the first date. it may create a bad impression.

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  • me

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  • You should bring money! cause in worse scenario you also have to pay. But as I see it, THE MAN should pay, at least on the first date lol. That should prove that he's a gentleman!

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  • It depends really, if we go out and do something ludicrous and expensive, I say split

    but if we are going to the movie , I'll pay for that and snacks :3

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  • The guy should pay but you wouldn't lose any points if you offered, I'd still be like oh no I got this don't worry.

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  • If I had been gifted enough to go out with a girl even half as gorgeous as you are you can bet I'd be picking you up and paying the bill. Dang what a lucky guy he is!

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  • I think you should at least offer to pay for your half. Let him take it from there.

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What Girls Said 8

  • When the bill comes or the moment to pay, offer to pay for your half, if he says no, then I guess he's paying. But take your money just to be sure.

    Depends on what it is though. If it's a big dinner you're planning, go dutch. If it's going to the movies, he can pay for once, he asked you out. Though I always ask to pay my half.

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  • who initiated the invite,if he said hey Id like for us to go to dinner,then he should pay but you could offer to pay the tip..I do the same thing as you always offer to pay my half almost insisting which is fine..sometimes but my guy says its irritating because he wants to pay.

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  • Depends on the guy I believe. You always have those three options. Paying for both, yourself, or letting him pay. If you don't want to pay for him just tell him let's split it. $ makes mi uneasy when it involves other people. Which is weird because whoever is out with mi - we always fight about who pays. Now THAT is the company I <3 to keep. lol.

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  • It's the kind of thing you don't really know until it comes time for the bill.. Bring money just in case, but he SHOULD pay for you if he picked the place, right? Grr. Confusing. Anyway, if he's looking at the bill, you can say, "how much do I owe?" and he'll say something like "oh, don't worry about it!", hehe.. in that case, put a $5 or $10 bill down to cover the tip.

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  • We both are.

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  • not picking you up doesn't mean he wouldn't pay. I've met guys there and they've paid. I think you have to use your judgment but on a first date I would expect a guy to pay, I wouldn't expect him to always pay once we are in a relationship but if we are just starting to date I would want him to pay. if he won't pay for one date I wouldn't be too happy. but it's your call

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  • If he picked the place and initiated the date then I think it's fair he pays. It would be different if you had set it up or told him you two should hangout then you would go half o pay your own.But either ways like they have said be sure to have your own money just in case.

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  • Just have the money ready to pay for your half. When the check comes, the waiter usually asks if it's together or separate, so just wait and see what he says.

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