When young women (early 20’s) date much older men (40’s/late 30’s), who is the one who usually initiates this?

In other words, I sometimes see young women in their early 20’s date men in their 40’s or late 30’s. Is it usually the woman’s idea to do this, or the man’s? Is this usually the result of the man wanting to pursue much younger women, or is it the result of the woman already wanting to pursue much older men?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I've seen it happen both ways, but men typically are more aggressive in those situations where there's a large age gap. These girls are usually eye candy, trophies and they actively peruse them drawing them in with their money or charm.

    There are some cases where the girl goes especially for the older guy though. They're typically the gold digging type (and I don't judge them by the way...there's always a story behind people). Sugar daddy's tend to be higher up there in age. Of course they're more established financially and have learned that pretty things makes her do things.

    In the cases where money has nothing to do with it, you're looking at a girl who has daddy issues and guy who wants a woman he can control.

    So it totally depends.


What Girls Said 10

  • I usually get approached by much older men.

    This has been happening ever since I was 16 and up.

    Older men just naturally gravitate towards me, so I guess I always took what I got.

    I used to find it weird...

    But getting to my twenties I started to see this has more common.

    A lot of older guys love younger girls.

  • In my experience, the man has always approached me.

  • It depends on the couple. I think sometimes two people really can just click as well - it's not necessarily about who's pursuing whom, but about a connection that is made and then followed up on. It also seems that many young women like older men, while many older men like younger women for whatever reason, so it's not too surprising for mutual interest to pop up.

  • for me its usually the guys. what I like about older men is they tend to want to keep their sex lives private not like a lot of young guy tell every friend they have about personal bedroom activities, and I think a 30 year old is on my maturity level. if me and my boyfriend of 8 years break up I will date only older men.

    im not saying men in their 30s dotn talk but its less high school BS when they do. if the guys was older than 35...well just be hooking up

    i was 16 and had my 1st older man experience and 19 the 2nd time and the guy was super older lol love older men

  • Men..Personal experience

  • I have had bad luck with my last two boyfriends one was 22 the other 24. If I have to date agin I need someone more mature, ready to settle dow and wouldn't play such childish games

    • Yea I have bad luck with dating guys my age. I guess what sucks is that if I do want to date older guys, they have "settled down" by then and I can't really party hard with them.

    • Then I am not interested I want someone to call my own, respect me and most of all love me back in return. I am not up for recreation if I was I would have slept around

  • guy

  • When I was younger it was them approaching me. I always turned them down because I never liked older men. Now that I am older I am always being approached by much younger guys so even when it is an older woman/younger man thing it is still the man approaching/initiating.

  • i'm in my early 20s and I dated a guy in his early 30s. I approached him but we had made successful eye contact before. but he asked me out. he says it was me. I said it was him. lol. I think older men often need a signal but I think the guy needs to take more initiative in general.


What Guys Said 1