My fiancee and I are scheduled to get married in 4 months. We are supposed to be paying for the majority of the wedding ourselves with what I had left in my savings accounts and funds he just received in a settlement. We don't have a date set in stone yet because it is a destination wedding and we are trying to work around the family, but it was set for March 2012. However, he recently decided to purchase a vintage car and says he is stressed about having the money for the wedding, so he wants to push the date out a few months or go get married at the justice of the peace. He is really pushing this justice of the peace thing even though I told him I feel like our families would be hurt and it's not very romantic. I would honestly be fine with him pushing it back if it weren't for the underlying insecurity he has now caused. His family and mine are now pissed he did this. I'm glad he got the car. He's been dreaming about fixing one up for a long time and I want him to be happy. However, I can't help but feel the others are right and this says a lot about his feelings for me and how responsible he will be during our marriage. Then I thought, maybe this is his last big "single guy" splurge, but everyone says I'm just making excuses that he's just plain selfish. I didn't ask for anyone's opinion by the way, the family on both ends just volunteered it. I don't want to be "that girl" who kids herself into thinking things are different than they are. So guys I'm wondering is it true? Should I really think about this in black and white terms of if he really wanted to marry me, he wouldn't have used the money to purchase a car? Part of me thinks he knew I wouldn't cause a fuss and would marry him at the JOP and use my money for the reception (which he thinks is the important part). Again, that makes me think I want him to be happy, but does he want the same for me...or is it all about him? What do you guys think? Be blunt, I need it.
Most Helpful Guy
Being together -married or not- should be more important than the wedding ceremony and -party.
In my (little) world, buying that car would have been a subject of discussion between my wife and me before buying (not after)
"We are supposed to be paying for the majority of the wedding ourselves"
" I told him I feel like our families would be hurt "
If your families want the marriage ceremony, they gotta pay for it, IMHO.
(that's what we told our families, long ago)