Why won't my man make an effort to see me and arrange dates?

Ive been seeing a man since Feb 2012. He owns his own business and sees his children at the weekends, leaving very little time for us. I do understand this, I have children myself. However, its always me trying to find time to see him, them reminding him of the date, chasing it up. He was so keen at the start, and when we are together he adores me and cannot get enough of me, then won't answer texts for 12 hours at a time - CONFUSED.

Updates:
You have all been so kind and helpful. I needed another perspective on this situation. He would be happy seeing me only when he can be bothered basically and I need more than that. Bassman I appreciate he's a good dad and runs a business. BUT I'm a good mum and have my children all the time, have 3 dogs and 2 cats and work nearly 7 days a week, so I'm just as busy as him and I can find time for him. However, I take what youve said onboard and I won't contact him now.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • He's a busy guy running a business, along with trying to be a good dad to his kids. His business, and his children should be his first priority. How many dates have you went on since meeting him? I would say that if he ever goes 10 days without contacting you...then you should move on. I'm assuming you guys are exclusive by now? If so, how long have you been exclusive? If he goes longer than 10 days with out calling or seeing you,then the next time he calls, simply tell him (calmly) you were looking for a serious relationship. Not a casual friendship when its convenient for him. There is not sense in questioning him about his behavior. You should want a guy who doesn't have to be told how to act.

    You're probably thinking 10 days! That's still not good enough! If this is the case, then you decide in your mind how much your're willing to put up with; and do like I said. No complaining, nagging etc. Just wait for him to contact you again, and tell him you are moving on. If he seems shocked...and really upset, and apologizes, and says he will do better, then give him only ONE more chance.

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What Guys Said 3

  • I must agree with ixi10, people who are into someone make at least some effort. Unless he is absolutely busy like 20 hours a day. every day of the week, he can make time to see a woman he is into.

    Talk to him, find out what the heck is going on, if he gives you the runaround, end it, find another man.

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    • He has said before that I push him to quickly, but we've been seeing each other for 9 months and its always me doing the running. He says he really likes me and wants to see me and then last Saturday after I left his house he didn't text me for 12 hours. I think he likes me chasing him. But I end up getting cross with him, ending it and then after a few weeks or months text him and he always wants to see me.

  • i think he's just really busy and doesn't have a lot of time for a relationship at the moment . if he wants one he needs to make it more of a priority

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  • He's not your man. He's his own man. Good -- he doesn't text. Smart. You are a control freak, Or Controller if you want a better easier term to think about. Lay off. Let him call you when he wants to see you.

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What Girls Said 3

  • This is a classic case of he's not that into u

    He may be interested when he's with u, but when he isn't with u, you're just not on his mind.he may like you a little, but the interest isn't high. Not to be rude, but you're cool enough to pass the time in his eyes, but you clearly like him way more than he does u.

    Keep your options open

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    • thank you pr3ttybr0wn. I think you are right. And he has got so used to me chasing him, why does he need to bother. I wish I could find a man to adore and spoil me - but I need to fancy that person too and I generally dont. I found this guy on a dating site as I never seem to meet guys out and about (day or night) and I'm lonely

  • Are you sure he's as into you as you are into him?

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    • I don't think so to be honest, but he seems so keen when I'm with him. He chased me initially and I responded by being really keen, following his keeness. But then it all went pear-shaped. He's always so busy and won't make the effort to see me. I'm hooked though ARRRRGGGGHHHH - its so bloody frustrating. I text him today as he said he may be able to go out. I text about 1pm then about 4.30pm - still no answer. HES SO RUDE!

  • What TheUglyOne said. Find someone else who will make time for you.

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