Is it me? Or is it you?

So, I'm approaching 27 years very quickly, less then a month no less and I've decided that I should start looking for a nice girl and settle down. TRY to settle down anyway. However, I seem to have trouble even getting a blasted date.

Now, just a bit of background. I'm a rather (actually VERY) fit, attractive (honest!), intelligent guy with a REALLY good sense of humor in his late 20's looking for a fairly committed relationship. And from what I've been told and even read this seems to be some pretty good credentials to have at this point in the game. Problem is, I can't MEET or get a DATE let alone do the settling down bit.

Before I get the "you need more confidence" answers, I have plenty of it. All the things I wrote about my self I wholeheartedly believe and if that ain't SOME kind of confidence I'm not sure what is. I try and flirt and act charming and all that jazz, but to no avail.

So, is it me? Or is you guys... er gals? Am I doing it wrong or are chicks just not responsive to the type of person I come across as?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • It's pretty common to hear about attractive, successful, nice women wanting to settle down and not being able to find someone. You've just discovered that despite the stereotype, this is true for men too. Finding the right person is hard, and takes time. Realizing that that's what you're looking for is a big step, but there's no way to rush finding someone you like enough to settle down. I don't think it's you or them - you just need patience. Be sure you're not coming across as arrogant or insincere, but other than that I think it's just a matter of time and luck.

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    • See, I've never been under the impression I'd meet the "right" person. Just a person. I guess it's the meeting part I'm really having an issue with. I don't think I'm coming across as arrogant or insincere, despite the whole "I'm all that and a bag of chips" remark I made in my post I'm pretty modest and don't talk my self up much.

      Thanks for the post tho. It shall go in the vault.

    • Fair enough - right kind of person maybe is better (one you like, who likes you, who also is in same place in their life, etc). None of those criteria are hard to fulfill, but getting all of them in the same person is tricky. I didn't mean to suggest that you sounded cocky - seeming too arrogant or insincere is just where most guys tend to unintentionally go wrong, in my experience.

What Girls Said 1

  • The dating game is hard.

    I'm told that many women (like myself) are unresponsive. Yet I see myself as responsive and as an attractive female, yet I can't get a decent date outside of online dating.

    I'm 27 and also would like to find someone to eventually settle down with, but unfortunately the odds seem to be against me.

    I don't think it's you. I think it's all about timing, but apparently timing is a very fickle thing. I hear your cries!

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    • You don't happen to live in Atlantic Canada do you? j/k :P

      I haven't even had luck with the online dating tbh. Thanks for the input all the same and good luck! Seems like we both need it :(

    • Not even close! Oh well, another one bite's the dust. LOL

What Guys Said 1

  • Mostly the kind of people you want to meet aren't found in a traditional dating scene. Try being referred by friends to someone. Try joining a club for people with common interests, doing outdoor things with groups of people. Venues where you'll meet people in more natural and less structured circumstances, and where people are behaving normally rather than in a 'date' mode.

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    • Well, I actually do participate in some "clubs" I guess you could say. I do a lot of martial arts, unfortunately jiu-jitsu is not a good place to meet the girls.

      I think I get what you're saying tho. You're saying I should start hanging out at chapters...

      right?

    • Yes, something like a jiu-jitsu club, but if you can find one with a lot of girls!...

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