Putting flaky girls on the spot? good idea?

[Chewybacca]

Hello,

I'm going to try and keep this short.

I previously posted I went on a first date with this girl who's 8 years younger than me but we had a fantastic time and she asked me to take her out more often. While she confirmed our second date, she cancelled last minute which I'm OK with - I can keep myself preoccupied with work.

But when I asked her out again for dinner and a Halloween party at the coffee shop she works at, she was being flakey and told me things like 'she doesn't know' and 'she needs to check her schedule' (then again I think she was nervous since all her colleagues - who knew we went on a date already - were looking. She was blushing but still had her eyes fixed on me while smiling). I kinda said in a friendly way "man, you're so flakey!" and she replied "I know~~~". I then told her..."well, let me know then" and proceeded to stop all forms of communication.

It's been 3 days already and I'm wondering if I should give her one last shot. Additional info I got from her female colleague (who's a bi and we treat each other like buddies):

1. overheard her telling others the date was amazing but she 'doesn't know' (whatever that means)

2. in her opinion (keep in mind this colleague Haven't spoken to her after our first date), she thinks I can do better than going after her

I haven't been on a first date where there was so much chemistry and common interest...and my gut feeling tells me she's somewhat interested but she just doesn't know how to handle the situation...or don't know what she wants (she's young). She also told me she likes people who are direct so I'm going to lay it all out for her and give her that kick that'll move her out of her comfort zone.

I'm going to call her next Monday (I've never called before, either text her or talk in person usually) and say something like this:

I like the boldness and eagerness you demonstrated before you cancelled our second date. I don't know what happened, but I'm getting this flakey side of you. I'm not going to beat around the bush so here's the deal - if you want to meet up, it's going to be this week or it's not going to happen. And tell you what, text me on Wednesday and we'll schedule something. But you're going to have to text because I won't be texting you."

Think it's rude? or is it fair for me to just put it out and get over with it? I'm not in a position to waste time really. I just want to hang out with this chick (we like outdoor activities and it'd be great to have a partner).

Updates

+1 y

This is what I'm going to say:


"I like the boldness and eagerness you demonstrated before you cancelled our second date. I don't know what happened, but I'm getting this flakey side of you now. I'm not going to beat around the bush so here's the deal - if you want to meet up, it's going to be this week or it's never going to happen. And tell you what, text me on Wednesday and we'll schedule something. But you're going to have to text because I won't be texting u"

[Anonymous]

awww, hahha...I laugh a bit because sounds like me to an extent, she's younger & seeing your age, she's in her early 20's...gotta keep that in mind, still young, still want to experience a lot.

I'm in the I like him but I'm not sure for a few reasons, still some what connected to another person whom I shared many years with, just plain nervous this new person might not be into me as much as I am into them. It's been awhile since I really went out there & dated.

you can approach her, I actually waited for the other person to make the move because I was so shy, and then I played that by ear (so to speak)

you can say something like "hey, how you been? I was thinking about going to ___*pick something*___ on ____*pick a day*___ Since you seem like a cool person, had a good time, Would you care to join me?"

Something more like that, because if you go by what you put it comes off a bit rude & you can try it that s a hit or miss, very direct approach, I like to smooth it out a bit, not directly ask but invite & saying a day, makes it a bit more direct & gives a timeline so to speak.

Have fun with it & think she's cool, but it was just one date, plus remember she is a lot younger, so the mentally and way things are viewed are different.

[Chewybacca]

I see. I'm into her but I didn't show it on our first date...she signaled hugs/kisses but I never did anything physical (IMO better to be skeptical than read wrong signals). I'll take your word, going to ask her out first to this lounge with huge variety of red wine (she's into wine). If she's being flakey again THEN I'll resort to being direct. Thx!

[mashura]

Its her coworkers. They are ragging on her caz of the age difference.

[Chewybacca]

Given how one of her co workers went out with someone 20 years senior to her...I think the age difference isn't an issue and she kept saying it isn't a problem either anyway :)

[Anonymous]

Well if you tell her what you said you would, she may tell you the truth. Otherwise I'm unsure lol :\ If it doesn't work, I say just give her some time :)