Why does it seem like good looking people are the unluckiest when it comes to dating?

For the shallow world we live in you would think really attractive people have all the luck with getting attention from the opposite gender. But it seems as if that’s not the case. In real life and on GAG it seems as though good looking guys and girls seem to have a hard time finding someone. I see questions with cute girls on here asking why guys don’t ever seem to consider them as girlfriend material yet they all think they are hot (guys are visual as you all know so we would all like a hot girlfriend, looks DO play a part). And the guys on here who are considered cute by a lot of girls say they have zero luck with women and can’t get a date. Yet all the average looking folks (and below average) seem to have no problem at all.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • "Yet all the average looking folks (and below average) seem to have no problem at all."

    I don't think this is true. I think that in general, finding someone who you find attractive, who finds you attractive, and who you're compatible enough to have a good relationship can be quite difficult, regardless of what you look like.

    I think that when you're more attractive, you generally have more opportunities to find that person, since more people are attracted to you and willing to give you a chance.

    When a person is very attractive but have difficulty getting into a relationship, or complain about not getting attention from the opposite gender, I think there's often a few things happening:

    1. They *are* getting attention from the opposite gender, but it isn't from people they themselves are attracted to, so they don't "count" it. For example, I hear girls complain that they can't get a boyfriend and that the only guys who flirt with them or ask them out are "ugly guys/losers"; well, they're still getting more attention from the opposite gender than girls who don't get flirted with or asked out at all.

    2. Along those same lines, they have very high standards. A lot of people who know they're hot are unwilling to consider people who they consider "below" them. They may put a lot more emphasis on superficial things (looks, status, etc.) rather than personality and compatibility (which are more likely to lead to a meaningful, long-lasting relationship).

    3. Some people think good looks are all it takes. If they know they're attractive, they may put less effort into improving other aspects of themselves. People may be drawn to them initially based on their appearance, but that isn't always enough to keep people interested, and their other characteristics may drive people away (e.g. bad or boring personality, bad behavior, entitlement, etc.).

    It might be true that some people feel intimidated by people who are very attractive, but that they never get attention from the opposite gender? I'm not buying it. Especially because I've heard a lot of girls complain about how no guys are interested in them and they can't get a boyfriend, but when you probe them about it, they actually get quite a bit of attention from guys, it's just that those guys aren't the guys that they *want* attention from. And if people of the opposite gender aren't interested in you, it's NOT because you're "too attractive", there are probably other things about you that turn people off.

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What Girls Said 4

  • I think most people who consider themselves good looking have a certain standard they apply to potential suitors. They feel their future partner has to be as good looking or above their own rating of themselves. Or have an equatable asset that will either elevate their status in the eyes of the ones who are looking (popular, funny, intelligent, wealthy).

    I don't think that applies to everyone - but in my own limited experiences with beautiful men and women, the interested parties were never good enough for them. They always found something lacking.

    And average or below average people don't see their partners as "average or below" because they aren't focusing on looks only.

    Hmmm, this isn't coming out right. I'm not trying to insult good looking people or accuse people of being shallow or desperate. I'm just relaying my own experiences, so please don't take it the wrong way.

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  • well usually, hot guys and girls have a bad personality, but of course don't get me wrong, that's not always that's way. in school, the pretty girls are bitchy girls and hot guys are a**holes...im not saying this to be rude, though!

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  • Some people overestimate how good looking they are. A person can be "decent looking" or "cute" without being drop dead gorgeous. Most of us fall into that range. With an acute personality deficit, such as no sense of humor, internal anger, weird passive aggressive whining, extreme shyness, etc ... They lose the ability to secure dates, because the "average" dating population has a lot of competition.

    It does seem that below average people in looks, intelligence, character -- seem to easily find mates. Maybe they have lower standards and will take just anyone? I would imagine that there is actually some kind of genetic reason for this -- human nature seems to balance itself out to keep different gene pools passing along.

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  • I guess people are just intimidate by their attractiveness.Guys often think good looking girls are either taken,stuck up bitches,drama queens or high maintenance person so they do not want to deal with all this.I met some beautiful girls with nice personality but they used to get judged before giving a chance to show their true color.The same goes for guys.Many girls don't dare to do the approaching because we might assume he is either taken or have the tendency to be a player.

    I am in college now and I don't mean to sound harsh but yeah mostly average looking girls have boyfriends and the good looking one are lonely.One of my friends is drop dead gorgeous and one reason she remain single is she told me she rather be alone than being treated badly by a jerk.

    Some of my friends who have boyfriends are treated badly/abused but they still stay in their relationship and yeah sorry to say they are those who in the average level.I am not judging by their looks but since average person have limited options they have to be humble most of the time and lower their standard on something.This is why they easily find a date.

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What Guys Said 1

  • I really want to give my answer here, but it would seem as if I'm insinuating I'm good looking.

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