Boyfriends & Online Dating

So my boyfriend and I had been dating again about 6 months ago and have been official for about 3 months (even though we have about almost two years worth of history). I always knew he had dating profiles (he's actually had them for quite some time) but he told me he didn't use them. Things had been going SO GREAT, that I decided to just look for heck's sake, and saw he had used the main profile that day. Granted, on his profile is said "just looking for friends, already in a relationship." and his status was "in a relationship" but it still bothered me. I asked him about it that night and we came to a conclusion.. He said he would delete them and that I meant more to him than those sites. He even claimed he didn't even care about those sites. Next day, his demeanor changed and he told me he wouldn't be deleting them and this is who he was and would not be changing. I told him it made me feel like he had one foot out the door and he told me it was more of an ego boost, harmless type thing. I promptly ended the relationship that day. I'm upset, and felt it was a decision I was almost forced to make, but I want to make sure I've made the right decision. What do you guys think?

Updates:
Hey everyone, thanks for all the answers! What's funny is that he just deleted me from Facebook (gasp!) and has yet to log in into his dating profile. He isn't at this point letting me or mailing me my ring that I left at his house, which is my grandma's so it means a lot to me. I don't know know what this all means, advice? Also, if he comes back, what should I do?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You did the right thing. Any guy that needs a consistent ego boost from other women, are very likely to stray and cheat at some point. That's one of the correlations psychologists have found to cheating men anyway, that they were typically men who needed their ego stroked constantly from women other than their significant other. The "rush" of knowing another woman wanted them. It's too risky, especially considering how early in a relationship he's needing this. Everyone wants an ego boost from time to time. But happily committed people get it from the flattery of a look or innocent flirt at the grocery store from time to time. Not from creating multiple dating profiles and actively meeting others. Your boyfriend is insecure and needs constant female attention to feel good about himself. Remember that when you feel tempted to take him back (because he will try to convince you). Other men are more secure than that, and statistically less likely to cheat on you.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Sad. People are dating sites, that is 'who they are.' They are a screen on a laptop.



    Good for you. I was going to tell you to dump him about six lines down, before I read that already had. Now you can find someone who isn't virtually real.

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    • Make sure he gives back your grandma's ring. If he comes begging, tell him you won't consider his advances for at least six months, and in the meantime, get rid of the %$& dating profiles, all of them!

  • You made the right decision, IMO. Anyone who needs to have their ego boosted in such a way isn't worth your time.

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    • I'm in two minds about this because I don't know the boundaries of your relationship. I personally would not be happy with my girlfriend talking to random guys online but that is because I would not do the same thing. I think it is something you both have to agree with and both stick too. If he chooses not to it means he wants something different or the same thing if you were to choose not to. A relationship is based around both partners being able to compromise and trust each other.

What Girls Said 2

  • You made the right choice congratulate yourself for that. Hard decisions are hard to make.

    One foot out the door is right.

    Onward and upward!

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    • Y are you checking on him? Y just made a right choice and now you are second guessing yourself. Not good!

  • I think you did the right thing,ego boost my ass,he likes attention and that type of guy can never have enough from one chick,good move..let him crawl back

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