On The First Date Ladies...

Simple question for all the women out there... On the first date, what is the absolute first thing you pay attention too (whether it's from the start to the end of the date) which will determine not only a second date but that this is a guy worth pursuing or having him pursue you...In other words would like to be in relationship with him.

Wow not to toot my my own horn but what your ladies are saying in terms of what you look for describes how I am on my dates however it still isn't that easy for me which makes me think that there is something more then what you guys are saying... It can't be as simple as looking good, conversations, smiling and the like because like I said if that were the case, it would be "easy pickens" for me when I am on dates...


Most Helpful Girl

  • The first thing I notice is if he greets me with a smile; if he's happy to see me. After that it purely depends on how he makes me feel, if I feel the conversation is flowing and I have some kind of connection and chemistry with him . I suppose it would be nice to see that he's made some sort of an effort with what he's wearing ie. not scruffy. I say this because I always make an effort for the guy I'm going on a date with. I like it when the guy smells good. In order for me to want to see him again, there would have be lots of banter and laughing. I love it when you begin to feel familiar with the person, like you've known them for a long time. That comes about when the guy is super chatty and open usually. Pay hera a sincere compliment if things are going well- you will sense when it's right. At the end of the date, it would be nice to ask immediately ask when you could see her again. It's reassuring, and would draw a girl in more, but you need to do it in a cheeky way, not a creepy intense way!


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What Girls Said 11

  • Well, I'm a details girl.

    I always immediately notice how he's dressed and how he carries himself. Table manners and body language matter a lot to me. A man will definitely get negative points if he fails to open doors or pull out chairs; and I won't even sit through a first date with anyone who chews with his mouth open.

    While I prefer fancy wine-and-dine, location doesn't matter a great deal to me. However, first dates that don't begin with a man showing up at my door usually don't get repeats. It's a date, not a job interview, meeting at a location I vaguely know after searching it up on Google Maps isn't going to cut it.

  • When he opens the door(s) for me and let's me sit first. Honestly, chivalry melts my heart but maybe because I am a little country!

  • You may feel a connection, but she may not. It's really not something you have much control over, it's either there or it isn't, even if you play it by the book. Just be open to meeting girls, and go on dates regularly. It'll happen effortlessly when it does

  • Respectfulness is the very first thing I pay attention to. I like charming, unique, original guys who are a bit old fashioned in terms of being total gentlemen :)

  • girls usually like with polite men but not borring..

    and know how to make conversation still interesting..

    and from the way you treat her.

    and don't think too much when you hv conversation with her..

    just talk and let it flow.. good luck ;)

  • Sense of humor,interesting convo,dressed somewhat nice(depending on where we go),eye contact,respectfulness,etc.

  • The vibes I get from him

    How he comes off


    Do we click?

    Do I enjoy his company?

    • You can tell all of that from the first date? I mean out of your list what quality must stand out the most in the beginning that will or will not be the deal breaker?

  • + Chemistry - have it or you don't

    + Chivalry - chivalry is not dead

    + Does it feel forced? Natural?

    + Potential boyfriend or friend zone? - How is the conversation going?

    + Manners - table manners, how he speaks to others

  • I personally just want things to remain interesting and somewhat flirty... I also want him to seem elated that I'm actually there with him.

  • His cleanliness (not absolutely perfectly groomed, but whether he has made an effort to dress nicely, clean hair, stuff like that. Good hygiene)

    Whether we can have a good conversation.

    If he's flirty, but not acting like he just wants to get in my pants.

    Humour, if he can make me laugh and feel good (I think that's important)

    • What's your definition of a good conversation... Like not everyone has the same interests when it comes to topics...

    • Like, the conversation flows smoothly. It doesn't necessarily mean we have to have the same interests, maybe we even have conflicting opinions on one thing, but we can accept that and discuss. sort of, if you get what I mean.

      Also one thing I missed before: he should be happy, I would hate to be on a date with someone who seemed miserable the whole time.

  • it doesn't feel forced, I can have an actual enjoyable conversation and I think he is smart and enjoy talking to him. we can share a laugh. I feel some attraction or chemistry building (not that I want to jump into bed yet but the idea intrigues rather than repulses me). I would like him to kiss me. I respect his education and intelligence. I like his mannerisms. I find him pleasant enough to look at. I feel the click.

    • Mannerisms? Can you explain what you mean by that...

    • Show All
    • Voice huh... So with that being said, is it safe to say that a guy, for the most part, has to appear as someone the fits your criteria from the beginning...I mean it's not so much what he does, like he could come off fine but if he does not fit what you are looking for he still has no chance...

    • no. I don't have strictly set standards with regards to those things. I just know if a particular thing turns me off, but I am not turned off that easily.

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