Getting conflicting dating advice.....

So I'm 25 my female friends are giving me conflicting dating advice.

On one side she said girls my age and younger tend to not be serious and she advised that I should not try to date them early on and just be friends for several months and avoid doing one on one dates. The other said once I know I want to date someone I should make my intentions known by asking her to dinner or something...Girls your input?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Be forward, else you'll waste months.. If a girl isn't excited about dating you, move on, find one who is.

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What Girls Said 7

  • Oy...the last thing you ever want to do is be "friends" with a girl.

    Yes, the best relationships start with friendships, but you have better make damn sure that your intentions are clear...that you want to do more than "friend" things so advice one bothers me. This is how guys get friend zoned, or miss opportunities to connect on a deeper more kinetic level with a woman.

    So yes, always let her know you're interested. Women want to know that you think they're beautiful and worthy of love so be as upfront with your intentions as you can respectfully be, always. You can't go wrong as long as you don't come on too strong.

    I wish you luck in love...though lucks got nothing to do with it.

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  • i suggest you to focus with one girl first..

    and see how it goes :)

    love is not easy! hehe

    sometimes it have very beautiful answer in the end, but sometimes not really :(

    so, ask your self which girl that you really interested more?

    and ask her for dinner is a good idea ;)

    good luck!

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  • maybe take everyone's advice? work on yourself, be focused on what you want.

    ask yourself why they say what they're saying

    i always wanted a serious relationship , even when I was 18 but had not found the right on eyet

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  • I always say make your intentions known because if she is interested and she thinks you only want to be friends she will probably move on and probably has many other guys after her. If she isn't interested and you put in all this time as a friend you could get hurt.

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  • Make your intentions known.

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  • You can't categorize all girls into one giant group like that. Dating can be seen as a tool to find out what you like and what you don't like, and what you will want in a long term partner. I say you date the way you feel is more comfortable for you. Don't invest too much too early, unless to you the risk of being hurt is worth it. Are you looking for something serious? Do you know what you are looking for? Or is it a vibe and when its there its there? Find out what you need, and what you can offer... and take it from there. It's like shopping...well kinda. Yo you know what I mean. right?

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  • I've never been good at hiding and suppressing my feelings for someone, so I usually make my intentions known fairly soon (if it's appropriate).

    Because of that, I prefer men also be honest with me.

    I say, if you like someone and want to date them, then just do that :-)

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What Guys Said 5

  • Friend A, the one who advised avoiding one-on-one dating, is the one with good sense.

    In fact, if I were you, I'd go right after HER, and never let her go. It's hard to find females with that much good sense. I'm guessing she's from a minority culture? Or she just has good sense, which makes her kind of a minority culture person, regardless of what she is ethnically!

    Friend B seems to be telling you that girls don't KNOW your 'intentions.' Do you really think they don't know exactly what you 'intend', unless maybe if they are platinum blondes, or watch Lady Gaga videos all the time?

    Well, if you think that, you need to get in some thinking practice asap. Girls in their mid-twenties, they can see right through most guys, no problem.

    There's just too much artificiality and pressure involved in one-on-one dating as it is practiced traditionally. I think A's advice applies to ANYONE, of any age, frankly. You should meet people in more day-to-day situations, hang out in groups, work on things together..this is how you will really get to know someone.

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    • Friend A's advice would not work in north America.

      No, most young women here assume if the guy acts like he wants to be friends, he -just wants to be friends-.

    • That's just not true. Friend A's advice will work! Not always, but it will work for the worthwhile females. The rest will, of course, go off on the dating game, but no loss there. You'd be wasting your time on them anyway.

  • The best advice, i.e., the one that actually WORKS, I've gotten from women was that the context needs to be set at the beginning of the encounter. If you act as a friend in the beginning, you are much more likely to be friend-zoned, but, if you act as a potential boyfriend in the beginning, you're more likely to be at least considered as a potential boyfriend, assuming of course she has some attraction to you.

    I've tried this on women I had interest in and on the ones I got good signals from, and yeah it worked, I always managed to get dates at a minimum, and some of these dates lead to more.

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  • Make intentions known.

    Main issue I see with your age and younger is that they could still be in school so if they intend to go to another school and transfer you may have a conflict as they will have to move. That's the main reason some won't be serious in my opinion.

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  • The biggest advice I can give you is that most women's advice to men about dating is bad, unless the woman is a lesbian.

    Neither of them have ever landed a girlfriend.

    Talk to men who date successfully.

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  • Lot's of good responses here. The only thing I would add is that women are typically horrible at giving guys dating advice that works. The reason being is that the ideal man they have built in their minds doesn't typically follow or go along the same lines as the guys they are actually attracted to.

    A simple example of this: women want a nice guy that treats them right, but they want to date a "nice guy" (who are typically supplicative, indecisive, lack sustainable confidence, etc.)

    Bottom line is if you like the girl then go for it and tactfully make your intentions known. Making generalizations will screw up your game because not everyone is as described above. You gotta take risks to get rewards.

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