Just found out boyfriend has online dating profile and contacting women!

I am so devasted. I was dating this guy for two months. Everything seemed picture perfect. We saw each other once/week. When the hurricane happened, we ended up spending a whole week together. I met most of his close friends and during that week he asked me to be exclusive. I left for texas the next day for a week. Okay...this is the part where I'm not proud of. I have been keeping a "fake" online profile on the websight that I know he has a profile. He has no idea it's me but he contacted my "fake" profile 2 weeks ago. This was before we were exclusive so I didn't think much of it. But today I checked my fake profile email and he said "I can take a hint... no response :( good luck!" I can't believe he's still trying to contact other women. We have been exclusive for less than a week and it was all his idea. I don't even know if I can bring this up to him when I break up with him because he will think I'm psycho. Please help. Should I just ignore his phone calls? Should I answer his email with my fake profile. I'm so devasted this is worst than the hurricane!

The last I heard from him was this morning, he said he may lose his house. He's making me worried and feel sorry for him because of the hurricane in the meantime he's trying to pick up other women. What a piece of work! So furious and hurt.
Let's add some new info. I wrote him back under the fake profile and I said "sorry for late response was busy with the chaos of hurricane". He wrote back immediately and asked for my phone number...he said he liked my profile and pictures.


Most Helpful Guy

  • It's simple, there's no reason to have or keep a profile on a dating site unless you are looking to date. Okay, I get you can have one still up after you've gotten with someone, but it shouldn't show any signs of recent activity. I don't buy the "keeping options reserved" practice, it implies you expect the relationship to fail.

    You'll either have to confront him about this, or let it simmer in you. Then, you'll likely catch him in the act.

    I used to think women who keep fake profiles were being kinda sleazy, but lately, it seems so many men love cheating on their women, I'm beginning to understand their reasons.

    • Thanks for your response. I agree with you...I had a online profile on a different sight and I deleted after we had the talk but when I saw him contacting other women, I reactivated my account.

    • LOL it is a *SLIGHT* possibility he knows and is playing, but I doubt it.

      My friend's ex made a fake FB profile and started flirting with him on FB, he happened to saw on her computer the profile, but said nothing and went with it. After some exchanges and flirting he "let slip" his ex's name rather than the fake name, and he said she was just beet red in the face.

    • I thought about the "slight" possibility as well. I have a profile on Okcupid and this guy has been IMing me constantly. I only talk about the guy I'm dating and he talks about this girl that he likes but he recently asked how my boyfriend is doing. I never told him I'm exclusive so I don't know how he knew that! When I asked him how he knew there was a long pause until I said I had to go. I wonder if he's posing as someone else checking me but I think that's only because I'm checking on him!


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What Guys Said 4

  • obvivously he's still out there and trying to meet other women , maybe you misunderstood his intentions when you started dating and he might of never really commited to being exclusive or he was just lying .

    personally I'd just move on with life and try and meet some other people , its obvivous there isn't much left of this relationship anymore

  • This isn't enough proof that he's trying to pick up other women. I agree dating profiles should either be closed or have no activity when you enter an exclusive relationship, but he could be tying up lose ends, letting them down without giving them too much information. Talk to him about his profile without mentioning him contacting other women, and ask him why it's still active and to shut it down.

    • ouch! I'm sorry he did that. Though generally I don't think it's good to bait your boyfriend/girlfriend either.

    • just to update you he wrote another message to my fake profile and asked for my phone number. He said he was happy to hear from me and asked for my number so he could call me. What a piece of work. I don't wanna tell him how I know. I don't think he deserves an explanation. I think I should just dissappear. My aunt tells me that since we just became exclusive I should wait. He said we are boyfriend/girlfriend I asked you mean exclusive? he said "well...yeah!"

  • Not enough info here. He could be telling these women good bye because he is nice. Did you meet over this site? Guys hussle numbers and line em up not to cheat but because women reject us so often. I don't know what the deal is but if you want to dump him do not be coy about it. Guys can deal better in absolutes.

    • No we did not meet over this site. When he contacted my "fake profile" before we were exclusive, he said he loved my picture and profile and he hoped to hear from me soon. I had a picture of a really hot girl up and he took the bate! I never answered the first email. Then I got the 2nd email today.

  • Dump His ass!

    what an ungrateful f***ing loser!


What Girls Said 3

  • Leave him alone for a while...Let it simmer...I know it hurts...but imagine being with a guy for over ten years...And he is cheating, lying and stealing from you...You have not had it as hard as hurricane. Just imagine if you were marry to him...Many men are searching for women on line...It is like being in a candy store...What candy do I want today? Just be grateful that it is only two months. Men will lie to your face without blinking and eye. Take care of yourself and remember love does not hurt...

    • thanks for your response. I have been single for 6 years and so hard for me to trust people. I thought he was the one! I'm wondering if I should just cut my losses before I get in too deep. I don't wanna be married and find out this guy is a cheater. So hurt.

    • I think you need to go ahead and cut your losses before getting in too deep

  • You should have a talk with him and make it clear that what you're looking for is something serious with someone who will take YOU and the relationship seriously, and apparently that person is not him.

    If he says that he IS serious about the relationship with you, then just say, "I know you're trying to meet other women and that's fine, but that's just not what I'm looking for, I'm interested in someone who's interested in ONLY me".

    If he denies it, who cares. Leave him! if you really want someone serious and don't want to get hurt you won't stay with him.

    if he asks how you know about him meeting other women, DON'T tell him, leave him thinking you're some kind of psychic! :]!

  • Get rid of this guy. You can bring it up. What does it matter now? You're still gonna break up with him. What matters is the fact that he is two-faced