Is it socially acceptable to date more than one girl at a time?

I don't mean as in, be in an official relationship with more than one girl, I mean go one dates/kiss several different girls at once? In the past I used to be very traditional, but I realized a lot of Americans are not like this. I was told that when in the preliminary stages of a relationship, it is normal and acceptable that a woman "try" her options, so is the same true for men?

I am officially single, and committed to no one, but somehow I feel what I am doing is wrong. Is it? Or is it okay to go on dates with various girls and "test drive" so to speak? I've kissed all of them, but in all fairness, I've always heard of girls doing this as well. So, what is the general consensus? Please share your thoughts, but be respectful.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't think there's anything wrong with this as long as all of the girls are fully aware that they are one of many girls you are romantically pursuing.

    Here's the thing; many people want to preach about this "I'm single; I can do what I want. I can date who I want. I don't owe an explanation to anyone" yet they don't want t be so bold, open, and honest about their philosphies with the actual people in question. Why? Because they know it looks bad. They know it makes them look like an a**hole. So they figure it's okay to adopt that attitude when it comes to dating, but they don't want the multiple people they're dating to realize that's the attitude they have. It may also be because they realize that the second they let the person know how they really feel is the second they are subjected to be demoted in terms of romantice future. 9/10 times, if you subliminally or outright tell someone that you're seeing other people; it makes them feel disposable and they automatically try not to get attached because the situation looks unreliable.

    Morally, I think it's wrong; it's selfish and self-centered for someone to do that. Not only that, but it's hard to get to know them all at the same time.

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What Girls Said 6

  • There's nothing wrong with exploring your options while you are uncommitted. I think a lot of people put all their balls in one court too soon, you have to at least give yourself a chance to meet people. Once you know things are getting more serious or you would like to go further in the relationship with that person, you can then stop seeing other people and stick to that one person.

    The only time it's wrong is when you knowingly make the other person feel like you two are exclusive while you are secretly dating other people.

    Be honest, tell them that you are still meeting other people. It might put some people off, but honestly you don't owe anyone anything when you are single.

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    • this is exactly what I think! I don't know why I got thumbs down...

  • In my culture, that would be a NO but you are right, it's getting more and more common. Not only are the guys doing it but girls too. Coming from a single, sophisticated Asian girl's point of view, I'd say No, I'm not comfortable with the idea of a guy dating me and then tomorrow dating another girl. He may be 'trying out' but it would reflect back on me and I don't want to feel like I'm being compared to another person when I hear he's got a list of girls to meet after me. If a guy were to ask me out on a date, I'd want it to be because he's really interested in me and no one else. I prefer not to date someone who is on a test drive mode but well, that's my personal preference.

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  • I think it's OK to go on a first with several people in a short period of time is totally fine. Going on a second date with both of them, is kinda pushing it though and before the third date you should certainley break it up with one.

    I don't think kissing them is acceptable at all. If a guy I was seeing did that, that'd be an instant deal breaker

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  • I think it's okay so long as you let the other person know that "you are dating" and make it clear on what you mean by that, just in case this person becomes interested in you and thinks she is the only one you're seeing at the moment. :]!

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  • 'Traditional'?

    Who's Tradition? Historically. Human beings practiced Free Sex. Polyandry. and Polygamy.

    This one to one action, is fairly recent, in time of human existence.

    id see multipal guys at once, but I would not exchange body fluids, including kissing. too risky. I had mono for many years. so I'm careful.

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  • I've never been a good juggler, so I prefer to date one person at a time.

    But I have gone on dates with men that were still in the dating field for others and it didn't bother me. If we're not an official couple, I don't care about them seeing other women. I'd prefer they not want to, but I don't get mad or upset about it.

    Once we're a couple though, I demand and expect fidelity. If they want someone else, they can dump me FIRST, that's fine. There's just no excuse for cheating, in my opinion.

    Having said that, I know many people that practice open relationships, and it works great for some. I don't think anythjng is wrong or right, it's just my preference that a relationship be one on one.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Socially' it's accepted, but not many girls will accept being one of the datees! Rather a contradiction, I know.

    It's totally accepted for women to accept dates from any number of guys in the US, as you describe It isn't uncommon for a woman to go out with a different guy several nights in a row,

    But men, somehow, while they often do the same and that behavior is generally accepted overall, by most people, aren't considered to be proper men by most of these same women if they date more than one at a time!

    That's only one of many double and contradictory standards surrounding dating, of course.

    It's tied to the traditional role of men paying for the date, of course. Somehow it's not a sign of a predatory attitude for women to accept gifts from several men simultaneously, but a guy who dates several women is somehow considered to be unfaithful, even if he isn't in any sort of sexual or otherwise close relationship with any of them!

    ?

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  • It's completely acceptable and completely disgusting.

    Doesn't anybody believe in monogamy these days?

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    • Wow, I think you got this wrong. The guy isn't talking about gathering a harem! Restricting yourself to one person before knowing them and choosing to spend the rest of your life with them without knowing if you two match would be the same with putting a few college majors in folded paper and choosing randomly. I don't think it's disgusting in the dating/pre-relationship stage. And trust me, I'm a huge 'fan' of monogamic relationships, so much that I've suffered for it.

    • Good one snake, I'd give you an up arrow if I could.

    • Yeah man - you're right

  • That is horrible you should only date one person at a time, maybe I am thinking backwards on this issue but that is hw I feel.

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  • it is totally OK and you don't have to tell them anythign wtf? you are not official, some of these women are complete control freaks...Anyhow it is fine also because it is called keeping your options open.

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