She wants to take it slow

I have been seeing a girl for a little over a month now. At first we were only hanging out with groups of friends until the two individuals who brought us together "backed out" of the evening's plans so it was just her and I and had a "date" atmosphere. afterward I kissed her and she responded very positively.

After this we began discussing what we both were looking for in this relationship. She said that she wanted to take it slowly and get to know me and I completely agreed. We are both 26 with careers so at this point neither of us are looking to date just for fun; we are both looking for a life partner.

From a outsider's perspective, we act like we are dating. She lives a hour away from me but I drive over twice a week during the week because she has those mornings off and I work independently from home so I make my own schedule. We go out for dates on those days as well as on the weekends. We have been physical that consists of some intense kissing sessions but that is it. I have stayed overnight at her house but the physical interaction was the same as any other time I visited her.

The confusion for me is that, if you were to look at it from a outsider's perspective, we act just like we are dating. She seems very into me and I am definitely into her. I am very vocal about my feelings for her because I have messed up relationships in the past for not doing so.

At this point I am ready to begin dating this girl but it is obvious that she still is not. I obviously can't ask her "how much longer" or anything like that but the waiting scares me. I have had a number of potential relationships end before they started where the girl loses interest in me somewhere along the way and my insecurities are starting to get the best of me.

This girl is amazing and I do not want to just let her go and give up but I also don't want to mess things up by being overly aggressive or appear desperate by continually telling her that I will wait. I already am the one driving to see her twice a week (which makes the most sense because we are able to spend the most time together and her car is much older) and do not want her to think she can walk all over me. My emotions are starting to get the better of me and I fear that if I do not tend to them soon I will explode and mess everything up.

What should I do?


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What Girls Said 1

  • You know, sometimes a month is not enough to get to know someone really well. Maybe she had bad experience in past relationship and got hurt (have you talked about that?). Show her that you won't hurt her, let her know what you feel for her, but don't be pushy. Don't be surprised if another moth passes and you still don't know what to do. Just be patient, go out with her whenever you have time, do something interesting, and after a while, talk with her, see if she's ready. She'll give you the hints herself. Good luck!

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