What to do when you break up because of bad timing?

My boyfriend broke up with me after 10 month of dating. We've been separate for a few months, and now I finally understand why. He is 3 years younger than me (I'm 27, he's 24), and even though we both absolutely loved each other, our ages don't match up well. He is just starting off professional school, while I am finishing. He'll be very busy with school easily for the next 3-4 years, and I will looking to settle down in the next 3-4 years (hopefully). He doesn't feel ready to commit to me right now, which is why we broke up. He feels too young, and just getting started with his career, to make any serious relationship commitments. And I appreciate he was honest, and mature enough to understand that relationships are a serious commitment.

The problem is, I just like him so much. He makes me very happy. The 10 months we were dating, I was so happy being with him. And I know he cared for me a LOT! So what do I do about this? I see him at work everyday. So, do I just act as his friend (like before we dated...although, this is VERY hard to do) or do I just make minimal contact with him and just move on?

Right now, we are on the sort of basis where we make very minimal contact and conversation. He tries, but I am hurt, so I am cold when I reply. Also, it seems like we don't have much to talk about...so it will never be like before. We did have a night two weekends ago where we randomly ran into each other at a bar, and talked about how much we missed each other and how hard this is for us..so I know he still cares on some level?

Is there any chance for us in the future? Should I forget this a move on?


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What Guys Said 2

  • When you love someone, let them go, and if they truly love you too, they will comeback.

    I don't see anything wrong with this young man. All he's doing is making sure he is set for the future and he is serious about this because he has put his education and future above you.

    The break up was a premature act and lack of decision. Both of you should have sat down and thought about this. You should have proposed that you're willing to wait for him and guide him throughout his career; if that's what you feel (I am just assuming)

    See if you can come to terms, like I said the breakup was not needed. If both of you sat and discussed the problem, then your relationship could have been a 2nd priority in your life at the moment.

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    • I agree with you. I saw it exactly your way, where I would've talked about it, rather than just end it. I think he has issues balancing things. He didn't want the stress of me even at the back of his head. If he is in a relationship, he wants to be 100% in it. I just wish I didn't show him my weepy, needy side after the breakup. I feel like now, too much has been exposed, and things can never be the same :( Would you still like a girl if you saw her cry and have a hard time getting over you?

    • To your question: If I saw a girl like that, I would run away. There is not a weapon comparable to a girl's weep and cry, because it does true damage to a man's heart.

      Try again, this time make sure you have a plan to tell him your proposal. If he doesn't listen, use a hook tactic. "If you're a real man, you won't run away from problems and listen to what I have to say".

  • There is always a chance.. you should just tell him how you feel

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    • I did. Many times! It just used to stress him out and make him confused and mad. So I have stopped now... a little bit.

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