My boyfriend still has his online dating profile... help?

I met my boyfriend online about 4 1/2 months ago, and we agreed to deactivate our profiles a couple weeks into our relationship. He did say he might keep it for a few more days or so because he was having an interesting conversation on there, but that he'd change his status to "seeing someone". Well, fast forward to a couple weeks ago, and he and I had a big fight about whether we should try an open relationship for a while. I told him no way, if that was the case, we could break up, and after a couple days of making me wait for an answer, he apologized and told me he just wanted to forget the conversation happened. Everything seemed to have gone back to normal since then... he keeps telling me he's happy, and he's told me numerous times over the past several months that I'm the one he wants to be with forever.

Today, though, I went on the dating website to completely delete my profile for good (I'm in the middle of a job search and having that floating around makes me nervous), and I noticed that he still has his activated. When I clicked on it, I not only saw that he's still listed as "available", but he's been on as recently as a couple days ago! I don't want to mistrust him- I really love him, after all - but this really upsets me after we just almost broke up over the idea of seeing other people.

Why would he still have his profile up? And how do I bring this up to him without sounding like a paranoid girlfriend? I'm so upset, but I don't want to panic if there's no need to. :(


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I learned a long time ago about guys like this first hand. He wants his cake and to eat it too. He is a cheater. I found out one of my ex's was doing the same thing so I set up an account on the same site as him and he got so mad. When he yelled at me I told him if he can then I can then he stopped talking to me. So childish. I don't do double standards. The funny thing was I met a much better guy on that same site when I set up that account. He is way better and we are still together. He is better looking, better personality, better in bed and is not a cheater. Later the other one came back but it was awesome to say I met someone better. Your guys is a douche bag don't even try to get the truth from him, you never will just dump him. You don't even need to give him an explanation. He knows he is a douche bag.

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What Guys Said 3

  • This guy has douche bag written all over him. I would never even think about proposing an open relationship with someone I'm dating. Break up with him pronto. You deserve better.

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  • I don't want to be the one to say this, but what I got from your story was 1. He asked for an open relationship, 2. He still has an online dating profile, and 3. He still uses it. That doesn't seem like someone who thinks everything is fine

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  • Just ask him and tell him you are thinking he is lying.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Sit him down and talk to him. Ask him for the truth, if you know him well enough you can probably be able to tell if he is lying to you. If you feel off about it, it might be a good idea to break up with him. Especially after stating he is interested in an open relationship. The whole thing sounds suspicious.

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  • Talk to him about it. Be clear that you went on yours to make sure it was totally gone - so that he realizes you weren't just checking up on him online.

    But the big problem isn't that he has that profile up - it's that he told you ages ago he'd get rid of it or change his status and he never did.

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