Need a guy's translation to help me find closure. I've been a workaholic, barely eating or sleeping.

Over a LA summer party, I met a guy. He was nice and helped take care my drunk friend. We hooked up, but I was tense and he asked if it was my first time. I said kinda because with my last boyfriend, it was too painful/had to stop. He's a few years older, experienced, and guided me. But I shook uncontrollably, asking him to stop because of the pain. He looked concern, stopped and held me until I calmed down. He kissed my cheeks, saying how cute I was/made-out/talked to me. As I left, he ran out of his car to catch me for my #. He looked eager, I hesitated, but gave in. He happily said he'll contact me.

Next day he texted asking if my friend and I got home safely. Next weekend, he agreed to a drive-in movie. Wanting something casual, I implied sex afterward. To make it less of a date/for gas $ (he lives 40 min away) I offered to pay, but he declined. He asked me to stay the night, but I tried to avoid it with a family event (true), and promised to drive me back early morning (not casual). Dropped me off with a kiss.

We went out for dinner the next weekend. I offered, but he paid again/held me by the shoulder while leaving. Last time I slept over, he cuddled me/intertwined my hand with his. This time we talked/ watched a movie/massaged after sex. I slept on my stomach, feeling it was getting coupley. As soon as I turned over, he put his head on my chest. I let my guard down, caressed the back of his head/shoulders; we slept soundly. There past noon, and he wanted to get brunch (not casual). Dropping me off, I said thanks, tried to leave, but he pulled me back to plant a kiss.

A week later, he asked about my plans for the weekend--I was leaving for Boston. He planned to go to a weekend concert, and changed to meet during a weekday. He works, with a long commute, but still picked me up at night and dropped me off in the morning before work. Our last night, he held my hand, stroked my back, and cuddled tightly. I gave in, kissed and stroked him lovingly, especially on the lips and forehead. That ride home had few words/a good bye kiss/good wishes. It was our last contact.

We never directly clarified what was between us or talked about the ending. I was set on a fling, but the way he acted sometimes confused me. If he was available winter break, I'd see him again. Until then, I wanted him to freely live his life, and if he still cared, we'd talk things over. He moved on. I expected it, but what depresses me is that he met someone at that following weekend at the concert he planned to take me. They started dating immediately and still are.

IF ONLYs haunt me, but life moves on, and I can't afford to be left behind. I need analysis/advice & questions answered: was he looking for/things headed into a relationship? Why/how can he get over us SO quickly? Should I even see him again as friends? I let my guard down with unreal expectations; now I'm wary towards men. It was my first/last time with this; I couldn't hide my caring nature.

Thanks for helping


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What Guys Said 1

  • Need a TLDR version, please.

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What Girls Said 1

  • sorry this happened to you. let it be a learning experience. move on, as he has.

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