She's not as pretty as I thought... To date or not to date?

So, I met a girl through an online dating site. Yeah, yeah, I know, dating sites can be weird, but all the girls that I know in real life suck and it's free.

She seems really nice, cute smile, smart, and interesting. We exchanged numbers and have been talking for a few days.

I add her on Facebook, and I see her pictures. To be brutally honest, she's fat. More fat than I was led to believe on the site. She posted up close photos of her face and one of those high photos of her body to catch a better angle

What should I do? I'm not really a judgmental or picky person with looks, but I can't help but feel disappointed.

Updates:
So, I went on a date with her last night.


She is definitely fat. I think she might actually weigh more than me! :-o


I was impressed at how much she tried to win me over. She made cupcakes and even brought a few little presents. She is extremely nice, but so innocent and inexperienced!


The date went fine, but the vibe felt a little off. But, I feel like I did it more out of guilt than attraction. She is definitely still interested but I don't know if I am.


What do I do now?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well why wouldn't you feel disappointed?

    She mislead you.

    People need to stop thinking photos are accurate.

    People can play with the angles of their camera to capture a certain look they want.

    If you aren't attracted to her then simply don't date her.

    You don't want to start a relationship off with things that should be there such

    has want and attraction.

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    • If you feel you cannot be past her looks, then look elsewhere.

      If you really like her personality then continue to date her to see if its something you can get past.

    • @update: If you still feel that way, then let her know how you really feel (in a less harsh way). You don't want to lead a perfectly sweet innocent girl on. That will only make thing worst.

What Girls Said 7

  • Honestly I don't think you're being judgemental. You should be allowed to be picky when it comes to finding the right person. Everyone has their physical likes and dislikes. Physical attraction is huge and if you don't have it with her then you're just wasting your time. There are other girls out there that you'll be feelin it for. The whole awww just give it a chance and maybe something can develop is totally bogus. For me I need the physical attraction first and foremost then personality, kindness, sense of humor, intellect, etc. I want the whole package. Life is too short to settle for someone that isn't right for you. Hope the online dating works for ya.

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  • A person can always lose weight but a sh*tty personality can't be so easily fixed. If the girl has been nice to you and interesting up until now at least give her the chance of meeting in person. There's more to a person that their jean size. If how she looks really really turns you off then at least have the decency to not lead her on and end communication after your in person meet up

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  • You are being judgemenral, it should not matter if you like her. But obviously it bothered you

    Had it ever occur to you the reason she only posted certain photos, and why?

    She didn't want to be judged by her apperance , but she is the sad thing is you said it yourself

    Every other girl around you sucks, here you find exactly what you want and your still

    Not happy, maybe its not that you need to think about it maybe its the girl who should

    And if you are not that into her, then just be on your way, next!

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    • What bothered me is that she wasn't completely honest about her appearance. She didn't post accurate photos. I'm not model material myself, but I posted accurate photos. I was just expecting the same from her.

  • If you were interested in her for other things than her pretty face, you should meet up with her.

    If you wanted to meet her only to put her in your bed then tell her goodbye or you would hurt her.

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    • This isn't how it works for men. Men care -more- about looks in a relationship then a hookup. It's not the same as it is for women.

  • You don't deserve her. End of story.

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  • Well I do understand your problem, I had this one too except he wasn't fat.. he just wasn't my type.

    Go out with her once if you're curious.. give it a try. But don't expect anything because a certain level of physical attraction is so important to keep things going.

    Don't feel guilty, you just shouldn't go out with someone if you feel sorry for her or because you feel obliged. You should go out with her because you want to, otherwise you'd be leading her on too.

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  • Give her a chance. Don't judge so quickly.

    And even if it doesn't work out, you can ask her to stay friends? :)

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What Guys Said 5

  • Decide how much this is going to bother you. It doesn't sound like you've connected to anyone else yet. And is her face pretty? Weight can be lost, but a face is hard to change.

    In the end, it's your choice, but if this is going to fester, you are probably better off giving her a pass. This will be kinder to her in the long run.

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  • Sounds like you are judgmental and picky.Personality goes a long way.Sounds like you're pretty shallow.But that's neither here nor there TBH.If she's not what you want,end it...simples.

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  • I say, give her a chance. Maybe you'll end up liking her.

    If not, then just say after the first date that you don't think you two are a match.

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  • nb4 people start saying you're shallow.

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  • Forget what you expected and what you think you're supposed to be.

    If you can see yourself banging her with enthusiasm, go on the date. If not, forget it.

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