Why do guys have to be a "Man" in order to be dating, relationship, boyfriend material to girls? why do they

have to be "masculine"? why are girls hard-wired to be attracted to guys that take charge, take control, are dominant, take the lead, lead, are strong mentally, are in control, in charge of their lives, make things happen, have a passion, are comfortable and content, secure with themselves while being single, they have to do things in their life that they enjoy, meanwhile women, girls don't have to have anything going for them in their lives.

Like this one girl said ""So many men just act like women. I want to date a MAN not a woman. If I wanted to date a woman, I'd be a lesbian."

I'd love to slap that bitch, girls like her make me have a deep, strong misogynistic hatred towards women for being like this in terms of attraction for guys, men.

Updates:
girls can be a loser but guys can't, you will always hear arguments, debates about how girls have so many losers hitting on them, trying to get in their pants, guys get labeled losers, girls almost never get labeled losers, see how unfair it is for many of us guys?
and girls expect guys to take care of them, as if we are like their daddy
it makes me feel like going on a killing, murdering spree sometimes, I hate, despise, loathe the standards, traits, requirements that girls expect in guys in order for a guy to be dating/relationship material, boyfriend material, in order to be a "Man", in a girls, womans perspective, point of view, I hate how we guys have to do all of this god damned responsibility, all the work in order to make ourselves more attractive, we have to better ourselves more than girls do

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Both genders have their double standards. Guys may be labeled a loser, but women may be labeled as being a whore or a slut if they choose to f*** around. I can understand your perspective of being upset but turning misogynistic and having a hatred for women because of it is pretty extreme. Ignore stupid comments from women like this, they are not all the same.

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What Girls Said 5

  • Woah, where are you from? Most men won't even look at a girl unless she's pretty, or if she's pretty then guys only want to get in her pants, but you know...life isn't fair.

    Who says that girls can't be losers? I know plenty, and I know many guys who are losers.

    I believe more people need to be independent, people need to stop being lazy and relying on others to make them happy...it's pathetic.

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  • We're attracted to traditionally masculine traits because we're attracted to the male species...Pretty simple really. What I mean when I say I want a man not a feminized guy is that I truly could not date a guy who spent longer getting ready than I did or worried more about his appearance. Maybe that's sexist, I don't know, but I want to be the princess in that respect.

    It doesn't mean I want a guy who's a misogynistic jerk- but I do want one who is in charge of his life, mentally strong, confident in himself, and is going somewhere in life. But to me most of those aren't masculine traits, those are just the traits of an attractive person anyway.

    Really- do you want a woman who's incredibly insecure, a mental disaster, and basically just sits around doing nothing day in day out, has no ambition to get a job, go to school, start a family or ANYTHING? Probably not.

    Sure- if all a girl wants is to find a guy who wants to sleep with her for a night or two, she doesn't have to do a whole heck of a lot. But if a woman wants a guy who's going to be in it for the long haul, be there before, during, and after sex for her to hang with, comiserate with, and laugh with- she's got to have something going for her besides being good-looking. If women want to find the type of guy we're looking for, we have to try just as hard as guys.

    And don't tell me guys will take any woman out there- again maybe for a one night stand, but for the long term, they're just as choosy as we are and they have specific "feminine" traits they want in a woman...

    As to your update,sure women don't get called losers- we get labelled ice princesses if we don't put out, b!tches if we're too self-confident, and sluts/whores if we have too many partners. Men don't tend to get those labels- it's just a fact. Life ends up evening out for the sexes in the end I'd say.

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    • well the guy has to be dominant, take charge, take the lead, lead, sounds like a chore to me

    • He doesn't have to be dominant or take the lead in the relationship or MY life, but he needs to be in charge of his own. You don't want the chore of taking care of a woman, which is fine, I get that, and it's exactly why I want a guy who's got his life together. I don't need a man to support me or organize my life, it's just fine thanks, I just don't want one who CAN'T organize his own life.

    • well that's better to hear

  • You want to slap me, eh? It's guys like you, who like to slap women, that make me have a deep hatred towards men who do not respect women. :) I swear I've said those exact words before too!

    I admire those qualities in a man. I am a strong female (most days) and I don't like feeling so strong. If I am more (any of the things you mentioned) than a guy - he is not attractive to me. Because although I am strong, I am still a female and want to feel safe and protected. And sometimes I get emotional, and need a man who is grounded to help calm me. Bring me back down and assure me that everything is going to be okay. However, I do agree its unfair that some girls aren't labeled 'loser' as much. I think a girl is a loser when she has nothing without having a man give it to her. But then she probably thinks I am a loser for not having a man and having to pay my own bills.

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    • still, guys are expected to be on their own all the time, be more independent

    • Hey! I am on my own. Okay? Do you hear me complaining? That is why I can't date a guy like you. When you whine, It is difficult for me to hold back from emasculating you. So I will apologize for my tone. But you don't have to be alone. Stop being bitter, stop whining. FInd yourself a good woman, and she will take care of you in ways no one else ever has. Just knock it off.

    • well it's okay for girls to validate themselves through dating and relationships but not okay for guys

  • why does wanting my man to be a 'man' mean I don't have anything going on in my life? I enjoy having a separate life apart from my boyfriend but that has nothing to do with him being the more dominant one in the relationship. Furthermore he enjoys being the man so why would it be any other way. If you want a girl that will be the dominant one, "be the man" in the relationship or whatever then go look for her. I'm sure there are some types like that somewhere.

    As for your woman hate, I think you need to spend less time thinking about how unfair it is for guys in the dating game and just generally how to get better at it. I feel like part of the problem with a lot of the guys that are finding all this so unfair, is that there just bad at talking to girls and/or have been rejected a lot. I showed my boyfriend and some of his friends this post and others like this and they have no idea what ya'll are talking about. (I mean they agreed with some of it, as do I but not to the extent ya'll are talking about) they are just normal guys too, they aren't crazy rich or even rich at all, they are attractive but not like movie star hott or anything, yet they have no issues with getting girlfriends they just don't want one. (My boyfriend was one of these guys till I changed his mind). If I were you I would adjust that attitude/way of thinking and try a different approach to all this.

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    • well a girl does not have to do as much work as guys do in order to land a relationship

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    • how can you be so angry yet say you don't wanna be the "man" in the relationship. by the way if you ever get in a longterm relationship you'll see that the dynamic of it shifts on its own.

    • just sick and tired on how us guys are expected to toughen it up all the damn time

  • The funny thing is that generally, people are attracted to people who are succesful, passionate and know what they want in their lives (despite gender).

    So men as well are more likely to pick a girl who can handle her own sh*t and does not need to be babysitted. A girl who knows what she wants in life and is not afraid to stand up for her rights.

    Girls look for this in guys as well.

    Simply because this is the way we are wired. Women, even if they can take care of themselves, are not the supreme gender since they are generally less strong and masculine and will therefore always need a guy who is stronger to protect them. Nowadays, this is unessecary because we don't really fight with each other anymore. But about 100 or more years ago, this was still very much so the case...

    Now, girls can be losers too believe me. But girls tend to not hit on guys as much as guys hit on girls so yeah..

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    • yeah obviously, it's just I hate how girls have to be so damn paranoid, they are so quick to judge and label guys creepers, weirdo's stalkers, etc.

    • Yep I hate that too. Though I'm a girl. But let's be honest, a lot of guys do that as well...

      And let me tell you one other thing. Girls rather chase than be chased and when a guy is all over them (texting them the whole time blablabla), it scares them.

    • i hate chasing, I hate mind games, I'd rather get immediately straight to the point

What Guys Said 6

  • Evolution. Life proves the meanest, strongest, most selfish are the last to die and the first to have offspring. Women are wired to wired to find men most likely to give them babies who will be most likely to have babies and so on. Thus, this means mean, strong, cruel jerkish men will attract the most women.

    So, don't complain, become a jerk yourself. I can promise you if you do, you will start attracting women. Oh yeah women will tell you not to do this, they will complain and get mad if you turn into a jerk, but you can shrug them off because you'll be getting laid because you did turn into a jerk.

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    • i guess so

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    • It may not be the case in a civilized environment any more, but our DNA has not caught up with the change.

    • yeah it sucks, maybe I was screwed by the genetic lottery

  • get over it. man up. and carry on. yeah girls can get away with sh*t. so what. If you want to have a girl in your bed you do not fuss over that. just be a guy. be confident, capable, independent, happy, and affectionate. find a girl that wants you for that. and as for society and f-d up roles. who cares. be a man. and deal with it.

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    • i just hate the god damn work we guys have to go through in order to be dating, boyfriend material

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    • and if I refuse to "man up"?

    • then live with feeling like the world is all terrible and unfair and be a whiner. I prefer another way.

  • This was the paradigm 50 years ago, and sure, some people still think they should behave like this, back when women raised six kids while men worked on farms.

    Like in the big city is a lot different now. Women are also working, men aren't expected to be the sole support for a family, and women no longer listen with mouth agape to a guy shoot his mouth off, often without knowing what he's talking about.

    . At least, not the worthwhile women.

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    • Update: Yes, I understand the anger, but remember, the girls are also feeling trapped into acting this way. They think they'll be staying home in the evenings if they don't play this game and try to get guys to compete for her attention.

  • girls like this really anger me too

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  • This is only the case if you wish to date immature women. Mature women have their act together and expect a man to do likewise. What's so unfair about that? All you have to do is make a solid introduction and it should be give and take from there. If you feel that making an introduction is so hard, I seriously suggest you talk to a doctor about social anxiety or depression. You might have a medical condition you're unaware of.

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  • While you are correct in stating that women in general do have to work a lot less to get into a relationship, why would you want to do so with a loser woman? She'd be really boring in the long run. Not every girl is a loser, as there are girls out there who apply themselves to make a decent life for themselves and others around them.

    Likewise, why wouldn't you want to improve yourself, not just to get a woman, but to also be happier with your overall life? I see self-improvement as a man to make myself happier, but the side benefit is the women. My advice to you would be to improve for YOU FIRST. If you think you're a loser (which I think most people aren't, you just are down on yourself), then you need to become better for yourself first. Forget women for a while.

    Read up and apply: link

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    • thats what I hate, despise, loathe, men have to become a better man, but women don't have to become a better woman, men have to live life for themselves, and I'd rather rely on a woman to make my life better, more happier, unfortuneately, women get away with wanting or needing a man for validation in their life, but never the other way around unfortuneately, it's a chore

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    • You can have it man, but you have to work for it. Bookmark the site I gave you above. You might not be ready to change your life tonight, but at some point in the future you decide you're unhappiness is going to lead you to change, you re-visit that site and go for it. Remember, I was a virgin who didn't even have his first kiss till 24. If I can do it, you can do it. Think about that. Peace out.

    • yeah, it's because it seems like as if almost all guys are born with "game", born with the ability, skill to pull girls, to get a girlfriend, it's like as if they are instinctively, naturally born knowing how to approach and talk to girls from an early age, like high school or late middle school, like 8th grade, etc.

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